Stay With Me
by LauraRauraRoss
Summary: He was just a troubled boy. She was willing to be his friend. They needed each other, destined to be together. Drunken memories and heartbreak end in Ally having to leave. 3 years later it's a huge shock for Austin when she returns, but even bigger for her to find him engaged.
1. The story from the beginning

**A/N: well I know a lot of you guys would have been confused when I deleted this, but if you didn't see the a/n I posted, basically I've changed the story slightly, so Here is the story of them in high school, and the entire build up from the day Austin & Ally met to the day she left**. **Then the next chapter will be in the future and that's where the story really starts I guess.**

**I really hope this helps you connect more with the characters and thank you so much for staying with me through this.**

**I hope this has made your monday a little better.**

* * *

><p>It was the way his head was hanging down because he didn't want to look at anyone in the class, like he'd done this more than once, and he was sick of seeing new faces. I wouldn't blame him; girls giggling, whispering to their friends, not holding back and openly 'oogiling' at him.<p>

The new kid, it's always the 'new kid' who becomes the center of attention, people act like they're some sort of alien species that's never been seen before. I feel bad for them sometimes.

Correction, I feel bad for him, now.

Yet I couldn't help but watch him myself as he stood there in between the principle and our homeroom teacher. "Austin Moon?" I heard them say, but the boy just gave a small nod in return. It wasn't long before the class was yelled at to be quiet, "Class, this is Austin Moon, he's our new student." Mrs. Carrie tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Austin? What, are you from Texas or something." Someone shouted from the back of the room.

"Shut up Eliot," Kira snapped, "I think it's cute that he's named after a city in his state, it really emphasizes the farmboy in him."

The new kid, Austin, looked like he was deciding to keep his mouth shut or punch someone. "I'm not from Texas and I'm not a 'farmboy'." He deadpanned with his jaw clenched. Everyone went kind of quiet, no one really knew what to say next.

"Austin would you like to take a seat?" Mrs. Carrie said, seeming stressed as per usual. As he came walking towards me, I was aware of the outbursts of laughs and 'farmboy' references, yet I stayed silent, staring until he took the empty seat next to me.

"Hi," I said, wishing I had a bottle of water near by. I didn't do this, I didn't speak to many people outside my small friend group, and I especially didn't talk to people who intimidated me. His fists were still balled up and he stayed quiet not bothering to reply to me. "My name's Ally Dawson." Nothing. Just one glance and I knew that it wasn't worth wasting my time. I got his type. He was the angry loner, no second guesses to why he moved schools then.

~~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

"So what do you think of the new kid?" Was the first thing Trish had said to me. "I heard he sits next to you in homeroom?"

"Well considering you or Dez aren't in my class, I don't sit with anyone, it was the only free seat, where else would he have sat?" Here's the thing with Trish, she knows everything before it's even happened, like the FBI she has insiders, and I think I've just become her newest recruit for this case.

"What's he like then?"

The hall was almost empty, if we got caught hanging around the lockers we'd be in trouble.

Sighing, I tried to think of every detail from this morning. "He was, cut off... and angry, I tried to talk to him but he wasn't really up for 'making friends'. His name is Austin and before you ask he isn't from Texas, to be honest, I can't imagine him staying around for long."

"Is he hot?"

"Trish, you can't just come out with—"

"Hey, Ally, Trish." We both turned around to see our red headed friend jogging towards us, the topic of our conversation dragging behind him. "Have you guys met my friend Austin? He's new here." Trish raised her eyebrows and I stared intently at him, as if I was willing him to look up from the ground. I never understood people who did that, I think you always miss too many opportunities if you don't walk around with your head held high.

"Yeah, we've met already, I sit next to you in homeroom." It was directed to Austin, and although he didn't answer, I didn't miss the small glance he gave me.

"Austin and I have been friends since we were kids." Dez nudged him slightly.

"Wait this is the guy you always talk about?" Trish sounded genuinely surprised. But I know exactly why. Dez always told us about him and his other friend that we "had to meet one day", he clearly cared a lot about him, I think they used to spend summers together, which was a relief for Dez from spending the remainder of the year with us. But this guy he referred to as his 'brother' was happy, and funny and seemed like the typical boy next door. Not the guy standing in front of us. No, I'm pretty sure the guy in front of us is capable of murder.

"Ally, you've got double English next, right?" Dez asked.

"Uh, yeah." Part of me was afraid to ask why.

"Great, can you take Austin with you?"

_Well I don't really have a choice do I? _"Sure."

"Cool, I'll meet you guys at lunch." Dez gave Austin a first bump before leaving with Trish.

I'm sure Austin was just bummed about joining a new school half way through our sophomore year, it can't be easy for him. But no matter how much I feel bad_ for_ him, I can't help but feel unnerved _around_ him. Walking through the empty halls I don't know whether to say something to him and risk being humiliated by his silence, or just cringe at the awkwardness until we get to class.

What I didn't expect, was for him to speak first. "Sorry about earlier." To say I was surprised was an understatement, not that I'm one to judge, but he doesn't exactly seem like the apologetic type. "I didn't know you were friends with Dez." I wasn't sure what to say, does that mean he's only talking to me because I know Dez. Would I be irrelevant otherwise? Not that it matters, at least, it shouldn't... I slowed down a few paces so that I was in line with him, "It was Dawson, right?" He pointed his finger at me, even though we were the only ones in the hall.

"Still is," I smiled, instantly regretting trying to sound funny. "Well, my name is actually Ally. Dawson's my second name."

"Okay, I said I was sorry for ignoring you earlier, I never said I wanted to be friends."

_Well then._

"Well sorry for speaking." I said under my breath. "I'm guessing making friends isn't something you specialize in." I said with a bitterness to my voice.

"Whatever," he brushed past me, walking faster.

"Do you even know where you're going?" I shout after him.

"I'll find my own way." He shoved his hands in his pockets. 'I'm used to it.' I'm positive he said when he thought I was out of earshot.

* * *

><p>"Dawson will you just listen to me?"<p>

"No, you had no right to do that, I wish it were you laying on my ground with a broken nose." I shouted, power walking to the music store.

"I don't even see why you're mad? He's not your friend or anything." He didn't even sound out of breath as he was keeping up with my pace. I, on the other hand, felt close to death. "Damn it, Dawson, slow down." He grabbed onto my arm, "Ally," he said softer and I instantly stopped, leaving myself with no choice but to catch my own breath.

In these two months I've known him.. whether it was my choice or not, he had only called me by my first name twice.

Part of me hates him, so far he's made my life miserable in his own kind of way. There has been so many times I've wanted to lock him in a room and list off all the occasions in which he has irritated me.

The first being the fact that I _had_ my friends, and it worked. Trish and Dez are all I need. And then _he_ came along, and in some weird way becomes a part of it, because he's with Dez, and Dez is with me and Trish— who seems to get along fine with him. And then there's me, who is always there, all of us are always together, yet he acts like I don't exist. And it still phases me that he can happily hang out with us and refuse to even think of an idea that _we_ could also be friends.

"I need to get to the store, I'm going to be late. Let go of me."

"Why won't you just let me explain?"

"Why should I? I don't know you, and you don't know me. We are strangers Moon, strangers. You've made that perfectly clear."

"I didn't mean what I said. Okay, even I know it was out of order, I shouldn't have been an ass."

"No," I put my hand up. Afraid I'd slap him. "Being an ass was last month when you finally talked to me for the first time since I met you, only for you to ask if I'd 'banged Dallas'." The memory was still mortifying, luring in the back of my mind.

"Dawson—"

"We're fifteen, why don't you get your mind out the gutter for two seconds? You hang around with me and my friends, and not once have you made any effort with me. But _then_," I yelled, catching people's attention. "You move up from ass to a whole new level of idiot and you take it upon yourself to call him every offensive name in the book and _punch_ him." My face was hot with anger.

I wasn't with Dallas, I'd never even talked to him. But I liked him, a lot. And to my dismay, during lunch there was a huge crowd chanting 'fight' as Austin decided to use Dallas as his personal punching bag. I was so mad I could basically see red.

"Look I overheard him say some things and... It was sick he's—"

I started to walk away, but within seconds he was standing in front of me again, I looked down, focusing on his bruised knuckles, wanting to ask him so many questions, because this is the first proper conversation we've had, but I'm torn between not wanting to even be on the same planet as him. So I continue to just focus on the bruises, feeling pained that part of me is happy that he's feeling the pain as well.

"He said stuff about you." His voice was strained, almost like it was too difficult for him to say.

Probably too difficult to admit that he actually cared about someone saying something about me.

And then it dawned on me. Dallas wouldn't be saying bad stuff about me? He doesn't even know who I am..

"What kind of stuff."

Austins voice was hard, like it usually is around me, no emotion, like he wants to be cut off. "Who cares, you know the truth now, you can go to bed and not plan my murder, that dick-head can go to wherever the hell will take him and get his face fixed. And now I don't have to feel responsible if you cry yourself to sleep because pretty boy may not be so pretty anymore."

"Bingo, just like that heartless farm boy is back."

Austin glares in response. People still haven't stopped calling him 'farm-boy' or 'Texas' and seeing him getting so frustrated over it is what brings me joy in the morning.

* * *

><p>"Ally, I'm afraid we have no other option, we have a strict school policy that all student's will be given all the help they can receive to thrive in school."<p>

"But music is the only thing he thrives at. It's not my fault he can't keep his mouth shut long enough to not get in fights. Getting expelled three times in a year—"

"Is wrong, we know."

"Is careless. With all due respect Mrs. Carrie, I have my own school career to think about, I don't have time trying to help hopeless causes."

"Well it's nice you think so highly of me." Austin snarled next to me. He's slouched in the chair at his desk. The class room is empty apart from the three of us.

"You agreed to tutor this years... Delinquents." Mrs. Carrie chose her words carefully, but Austin just shrugged.

The little shit.

I had to stop myself from saying it out loud. No way could I spend one on one time with him. It wouldn't work. It would be awkward and he wouldn't be interested.

"Dawson I don't see the big deal, your dad owns a fuc— freaking," he quickly glanced at Mrs. Carrie, "music shop. You can work and I'll just mess around."

"See!" I threw my head back in despair.

Sophomore year was almost over.

Almost being the key word.

* * *

><p>If you'd told me at the start of the year that I would become best friends with Austin Moon, I would have laughed in your face.<p>

If someone told me four months ago when he sauntered into the store for his first tutor lesson, that it would become an icon moment in the start of this new found friendship, I would have called you crazy. Because I was almost definite that I was close to hatred with the guy.

Now don't get me wrong. It wasn't like he walked through a teleport that was the music store and all of a sudden became a saint. But later that day, when I was figuring out if I could smash his head in between two symbols, something changed.

I'd given up on his for the day, and went up to the practice room. I started playing some incomplete melody from this morning, and was messing around with some words. I felt a weight sit down next to me on the bench, and for a moment, the mother bear in me snapped. But before I could tear Austin to shreds, his fingers started dancing along the keys, carrying on from where I was.

I couldn't quite move, my feet were glued to the ground as he was humming away.

"You play piano?"

"I can play everything in this shop Dawson," he had a cocky smile spread on his face. And for once, I didn't hate it.

"Then why, of all subjects, did you decide to fail music?"

"I'd tell you the truth." He pressed down on some other keys. "But you'd think I'm insane."

"I already think that, Moon."

"Touché, Dawson."

Later that night, when Trish came up to see why I hadn't text her all day, the shock on her face to see me and Austin laughing, paper sprawled all over the place, was priceless.

"Hows lessons going?" She asked, amused.

"We're writing a song." Austin said, as if it weren't a big deal, I nudged his side and a smile broke out onto his face. "We're nearly done, you wanna hear?"

"Hear?" Trish said in disbelief, "As in hear Ally sing. That'll be a first."

I looked down at my hands, I was so caught up in today with the fun and excitement of finding out someone had the same Music interest in me, I forgot about my stage fright. It never occurred to me that Austin heard me sing, that he was silently judging ever vocal that came out my mouth. Every note that I may have not quite reached.

"You don't sing in front of people, Dawson?" He asked, surprised himself.

"No, and I shouldn't have sang in front of you today," I stood up. "Look you guys it's getting late. I need to shut up the store." And with that I walked away.

"Hey, Dawson!" He shouted, almost jumping down the stairs. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know what you mean," I pretend to polish the top of the grand piano.

"That's bullshit." he stated, crossing his arms. "Why don't you sing for people. You're talented."

"Wow, did farmboy really just give me a compliment?"

"Don't push it." He pointed at me as his face softened slightly. "Maybe you don't want your voice to be heard, but your music is something that can't be hidden. I'm sorry but that's just selfish." he smiled, "If you don't take action on it I will."

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, make an album?"

"Slow down, we only got through one song, I was think more like a single. I'll sing, you can write, it'll be the perfect partnership. And if that is the case, I should probably start calling you Ally." The smile still not leaving his face.

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of praise, but I could see it far enough, he gave that performers vibe, now he just has to work on his people skills.

"Yeah well you become and over night sensation and we'll talk."

And to my dismay, beating all my odds. He did.

* * *

><p>"Can you believe it's the first day of junior year?" Trish said.<p>

"Not long before we're seniors," Austin comes up behind us, carrying my bag.

"Yeah, and you've got to work extra hard this year. Jimmy and your parents agreed—"

"School first, I got it mom." He mocked me. "I can't wait until we get out of this hell hole."

"Why, so you can be a real rock star." Trish mused as the bell went.

"What's not to love? Party's, cool cars, hot girl." Austin seemed like he was in a daze of his own perfect little daydream. My stomach twinged slightly at the thought of Austin being surrounded by girls.

Like when we're in the mall, and they come up to him and ask me to take pictures for them together. I have to stop myself from 'accidentally' dropping their phones. Not that I would do it anyway.

As we took or seats and Mrs. Carrie handed out our schedules for the year I leaned over and whispered in Austin's ear. "Think of this year as a fresh start, people know who you are now. You can't be the troubled new kid anymore."

"New kid? I've been here for a year."

I wanted to laugh at his confusion, but I had to try and get my point across to him. "I mean, you can't be angry with everyone who you aren't close to."

I see guilt on his face. Around a month into our friendship, during one of our song writing sections, he apologised, for everything. He explained that there were issues when he moved here. That if it weren't for Dez he probably wouldn't have stayed. When I asked him why he was cool with being friends with Trish straight away, we both laughed when he admitted it was because he was scared of her.

As for me. He wasn't exactly expecting people to be kind to him when he moved, and he didn't particularly want to get close to too many people. Although those reasons are still unclear to me. But we still have time. At least that's what I told him that night.

"Austin, you can't get into any fights this year, no matter how much people annoy you. You're not a 'nobody' anymore, people will find out and you don't want that type of stuff in the press this early on in your career—"

"I got it Ally," relief flooded me as he took what I was saying light hearted. "I've got you guys now, I'm happy."

And that's all I really wanted to hear.

* * *

><p>"You're late." I stated as Austin walked into the practice room.<p>

"Sorry, I was driving Kira home."

"You know ever since you got your license you seem to be anywhere with anyone but me." My eyes widened, not meaning to sound jealous. "And Dez and Trish." I quickly added.

"It's not my fault chicks dig a guy with a car."

"Well this chick," I point to myself, "digs guys who arrive to practice on time and help their songwriters."

"Aww, Ally." Austin strolled over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "If I knew you felt that way about me I would have made this my number one priority."

My face burned up as I shoved his hand away. "You know I didn't mean it like that. And music should be your number one priority anyway." I grumble, slamming my book down.

"Wow, what happened to you?" He turned me around. "Excuse me hormonal robot can you please bring my Ally back, you know, the fun, happy, over joyed Ally Dawson."

Was this meant to be his weird way of cheering me up? Because if my facial expression wasn't giving him a clear enough message, it wasn't working.

"Seriously Alls, what's wrong?"

I sighed, sitting down on the bench. I could go cliché, say its 'nothing' that _I'm fine._

Or, I couldn't lie through my teeth. "It's about our performance at my moms book signing. I'm just nervous, that's all." There, convincing, and not a total lie either.

"You'll do great," Austin sat down next to me, I closed my eyes, his scent relaxing me. "Besides, you have me." He held onto my hand.

And in this moment, I realized, the little crush I had on my best friend, was more than just a little crush.

* * *

><p>I decided that I hated being seventeen the day the rumours about Austin and Britney—the cheer captin— started.<p>

_'I heard they did it in the changing rooms during practice.'_

_'I heard he took her virginity.'_

_'No way, have you met Britney, I bet she took his.'_

_'Wow, who new farmboy was up for a quickie.'_

Their voices rattled my head as I ran through everyone. High school; also known as gossip city.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I made my way to the janitors closet, pushing and shoving anyone who was in my path. 'Ally?' Someone grabbed my arm, but I shook them off with more strength than I thought I had, not caring that everyone could be staring at the crying girl running through the halls.

Once I got inside I slammed the door, annoyed there was no lock. The room was empty apart from a few supply books, a mop and an overturned bucket. I sat on top of it and threw my bag on the floor.

Before I could register my next emotions, my body shook as I sobbed into my sweater.

Why does he have to go and mess it all up? I was so close to telling him.

The door slowly opened and my eyes shot up.

"Dez?" I breathed.

He swore, closing the door quickly and walking over to kneel down in front of me. "What's happened?"

I couldn't tell him could I? It was his best friend. His brother almost.

"Is this about Austin?"

I froze for a moment. Dez put his hand on my arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. I hung my head down, feeling shamed as I nodded.

Dez wasn't like other guys, he wouldn't be mean, or call me a drama queen, but I was still surprised when he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Why would he do something like that?" I was close to hysterics. The thought of Austin and someone, in that way. He couldn't.

"You don't know much about teenage boys, do you?" Dez laughed, but stopped suddenly. "I didn't realize how much you liked him."

"I didn't mean for it to happen." I pulled back, playing with the loose strings of my sweater. "It happened without me really noticing. I liked the way he treated me like I was a delicate flower, yet he wouldn't hold back in telling me something, because he knew I could handle it. When it's late at night, and it's just us at the piano. I can't even think straight. They way he looks at me sometimes, it makes me think he likes me as well, because it's how I look at him. When he hugs me, I never want to let go, and sometimes it feels like he doesn't either." I take a moment to breathe.

I've never told anyone this before not even Trish. "I want to say something to him, but what if he doesn't feel the same and then it's awkward between us. I'd hate myself."

"Well how do you know he doesn't feel the same if you've never tried?" Dez asks, sounding upset himself.

"Every time I have the courage to tell him, he seems to be with a new girl. I always tell myself that it won't last long, and they don't, but before I have a chance—" my voice cracks, I hate this. I hate him, at least I hate how he makes me feel. "I'll never have a chance with him when there are so many girls out there, and even if he does want to.. Date me.. What if I get dumped, just like the rest."

"Ally—"

"No, no I can't risk it, it's safer to stay his friend, that way I can be in his life forever, like you and Trish. I want to be able to pick up the phone with I'm eighty and talk to you guys. I don't want to be some old lady who thinks back on how great her friends _used_ to be."

When I think back to all the girls I've seen Austin with. Their pretty manicured nails and long fake hair and perfect lashes... How many people has he slept with? A tear rolled down my face again.

I think to myself, would he be like this if he wasn't famous? Would I have ever had a chance, maybe he'd still ignore me.

I liked it better that way, the feeling of rejection was completely different, I had no emotional attachment back then.

* * *

><p>I was filling out an order form for some new violins when I heard something break outside the door. Looking up, I squinted through the darkness. I saw blonde.<p>

"Austin is that you?" I said cautiously, walking around the counter.

He pushed through the door sending a rush of warm air in. He didn't stop until he fell into the counter.

I turned towards him, the smell radiating off him hitting me. Putting my hand to my nose, I try to cover my gag reflex.

"Austin, you smell like a Vegas bar." I said. He turned to look at me. He had a green beer bottle in his hand and his hair was bright and disheveled. But that's not what I noticed the most.

His hazel eyes were glazed over, like they couldn't even focus anywhere.

"How would you know what a Vegas bar smells like Dawson?" He slurred, almost to the point where I couldn't understand him. My heart seized. _Dawson_. He was pissed.

I blinked at him as he slouched against the counter. "How much did you drink?" I said, holding my hands out to hold him up as he started slipping.

"I lost count after the shots." He was swallowing the air, trying to clear his throat.

I shut my eyes. "Jesus, Austin. You could have alcohol poisoning. Who the hell lets an eighteen year old buy shots and beer? And who the hell drove you home?"

He looked up at me. "I walked."

I shook my head. I pulled his arm over my shoulder and held as much of his weight as I possibly could.

"Come on farmboy." I said, as I pulled him up the stairs to the practice room.

He hoisted himself onto the piano, even though I tried to get him onto a chair. I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and filled a bowl with some of it, giving him the remainder. I grabbed a towel and sat down next to him, placing the bowl on top the keys.

He looked at me as I started pushing the sweaty hair off his face with the towel and cleaned the glistening salt water that was all over his face.

I shoved the trash can that was by my leg at him when I saw the look on his face. As he threw up I had an urge to call Dez to come and pick him up, but he's been covering enough for me this past year.

"Why, are you doing this?" Austin asked, his speech becoming a little clearer.

I ringed the towel out, having dipped it in the bowl again. I reached up but he grabbed my hand.

I sighed. "Your my best friend. What do you think I'd do?" I said, pushing the rest of his water bottle up to his mouth.

"Why did you drink so much?" I said, as he wiped his mouth.

"I was trying to forget something. Looks like it didn't work." He said, looking down.

I sighed and put my hands on his knees. "Was it about Piper?" I said, and he winced, giving me all the answer I needed.

Piper. Out of all the things Austin has done, all the girls he has been with. Piper, of all people was the sweetest, yet the one I feared most. Three months they have been together, and I don't think I've ever seen Austin this happy.

I've stopped lying to myself, I got through the rest of Junior year fine. Senior year seemed like a breeze, until he found her.

Stopping myself from thinking about it anymore, I started to step back to get another water, but he stopped me, grabbing my waist.

I hadn't realized how close I was to him till his hands settled, sending warmth through my body.

I was in between his legs, my abdomen close to the edge of the piano, and to him.

I looked down at him, and he looked up at me.

"You know, every time me and Piper fight it's because of you." He said, never taking his eyes off me. My breath caught. Really caught. Until I felt like I was the one needing a trash can. "She thinks I'm in love with you. And sometimes, I think she's right." He said through a breath.

I blinked. "Your drunk, Austin. You don't know what you're saying." I said to him, feeling angry. He shook his head.

"No, I mean it. I can't always convince myself that I want to be just friends with you. Or, conceal the jealousy I feel whenever I see you with someone else." He whispered.

_You have no idea._

"Please, Austin—"

"Why do you keep denying everything I say? Why do you keep saying no?"

"Because your intoxicated and not thinking straight that's why. In the morning you'll wake up with a horrible hangover and forget this ever happened."

He shook his head. He started leaning in, and I don't know why I didn't stop him.

He was almost at my lips when I finally found the strength to put my arm to his chest. I will not let him do this, _again_.

"You can't, you can't do this to her Austin." _You can't do this to me. _"No matter what you two fought about, this isn't right."

Austin looked broken, like a child who had just been told Santa wasn't real. He sat back down again, looking more sick than ever.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Austin. Nothing is wrong with you." I reached out and smoothed down a piece of his hair.

"But I make you sad, right?"

"Wh-what?" Fear struck me, does he know?

"I see it in your eyes Ally. I wish I knew how to make the feeling stop, but I don't know, whenever I ask you never tell me, you come up with excuses. I pretend to be okay with it, but I'm not. I'm not okay if you're not."

"Well I think we've discovered one thing." I decided to sit back down again.

"What?"

"You're an emotional drunk." I tell him.

Shaking his head, he turned his body, to face me. I could feel more questions coming on.

"Just one thing."

Every possible thing he could ask ran through my mind.

"Sure," I smiled.

"After all I've done, why do you still want to be my friend?"

I think for a moment, but the answer comes out more natural than anything I've said to him in this past year.

"I think I see you in a different way than you see yourself." He looked confused, but I didn't stop. "I mean, yeah, you're someone who messed up a few times, you've done things you shouldn't have. But at the end of the day, you're the guy who changed me. You sing to me when I'm down, you call me up at three in the morning to tell me about song lyrics you think I could use. You're the one who got me over my stage fright, the reason I may have a career in the one thing I love. You share the same passion for music as I do. You are someone who is a whole lot more than you'll ever realize Austin Moon."

"Thank you." He rested his head on my lap.

"No problem," I watched as his eyes slowly closed.

If I knew this would be our last real conversation, maybe I would have said more, but how could I have known what my future held? How could I have known that even being sad, it would be the happiest I could be.

* * *

><p>"I'm so glad you and Piper are back together."<p>

"Me too, I'm never letting her go ever again."

* * *

><p>"So he doesn't remember?"<p>

"No, he was too drunk, he probably wasn't even aware at the time what he was saying."

* * *

><p>"You're not coming on tour with us?"<p>

"No, but you guys will have fun. Make sure Trish and Dez don't kill each other, and I'm sure Piper will appreciate the free ticket, who wouldn't want to see their boyfriend perform on stage every night. She'll have more fun than I ever could."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you're not going to prom."<p>

"It's for the best."

* * *

><p>"Ally, you're bellow average in over half of your classes. We're going to have to call your parents in for a meeting."<p>

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

* * *

><p>"She's just not the same person anymore. I'm worried."<p>

"Don't be worried, she's probably just stressed with graduation."

* * *

><p>"She's been off for over a week, this isn't like her."<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry if I've been a bit off recently guys. But don't worry, the old Ally is back."<p>

* * *

><p>"Can you believe that high school is over? Not seeing each other everyday."<p>

"Hey, it'll be just like a really long summer vacation, we'll still see each other everyday. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Of course."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Ally?"

"What? Oh, yeah, yeah of course."

* * *

><p>"Party tonight at Elliot's, all of our old senior class will be there. Like a reunion before we all go off to college."<p>

"Well before _they_ all go off to college, you rock star still have a team Austin to coach you through the rest of your life."

"Ally? Did you heard that? There's a party tonight, you're coming right?"

"Of course I am."

Who would have known that those four words where the biggest mistake of my life, they would change everything. Forever.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: well I'm sorry for the wait, and the confusion, the other chapter will be going back up at the weekend, I've edited them a lot so I'd appreciate it if you read them again as now you'll has a better understanding and now that I understand this story more I feel like the quilts will be better because I have now identified how the characters will act.**

**Big thanks to my Maiya for helping me with this.**

**So, what do you guys think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: okay so I know I said the next few chapters would be the original ones I took down but I changed my mind, **

**So the start of this chapter is the same (so it may sound familiar when you read it at first)**

**But the second half with Austin is COMPLETELY different. **

* * *

><p>"I'm not trying to be hostile towards this Ally, I just don't want you getting hurt again." Trish sighed into the phone.<p>

I winced while checking my watch again, "I know what I'm doing."

"But—"

"No, I've made up my mind."

"It's not fair on him if you just show up," Trish whispered.

"Yeah well life isn't fair, is it?" I snapped. "I know what I did was wrong, but I had my reasons. It's time for me to come home." There was a long pause on the other end. "I just want to talk to him."

"We both know you want more than to just talk to him. It's been _three_ years Ally."

"Yeah, and a lot has happened in three years. He was a big part of my life. I need closure."

"Okay, I get that, I do. But do you still think it's a good idea for everything to be a surprise? I mean, _a lot has happened_." She said again slowly.

"Yes, and I said that I got that. I don't need to know anything about his life and he doesn't need to know about mine, I don't want any more guilt than I already have. What I need, is to see him, clear the air, hope he doesn't hate me, and I can come back here and live my life."

"Ally—"

_Flight 473 from New York to Miami will now begin boarding._

"I'll let you know when I land, Dez is picking me up from the airport and I'm staying with him. Now stop stressing, goodbye Trish." I sighed, ending the call.

I never said goodbye to him the day I actually left, and I haven't spoken to him since. And I think that will always be my biggest regret. I also think that's the reason I feel like I can't move on... Almost like I'm not _allowed_ to move on.

I decided to move to New York the summer my senior year ended. I couldn't see a future staying in Miami, I felt like I was falling slowly into a black hole of nothingness everyday I woke up. I wasn't happy.

But going back home... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. To see him again, in the flesh, to actually stand there in front of him.

I always think back to when we were seventeen, those late, almost intimate nights at the piano. Nothing ever happened of course, and he didn't ever make 'moves' on me. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me, or lingering our hugs just a little longer, and he flirted, a lot, but that's just his nature, it wasn't specially for me.

It was something I thought about a lot, even when I was seventeen.

* * *

><p>"Ally!" I turned around to see Dez running towards me.<p>

I let go of my suitcase and tightly wrap my arms around him. How I missed my tall, quirky friend.

"Dez, it's so good to see you." I mumble into his shirt. Strangely not as over-colored as I remember.

"Yeah well, Trish explained everything to me," Dez cringed and he pulled away from me. "She didn't seem to happy that you came out here."

"Yes well she's in LA right now so there's not much she can do about it."

"Well I'm glad you're back, things have been... different without you. With you girls gone it's been way too quiet." He laughed.

"Yeah, I expected a lot to have changed, I don't think I'm ready for it though."

"You'll get over it." He picked up my bags, strolling towards the car park.

"Well excuse me Mr. director," I grin at him, "at least give me thirty seconds to adjust. I need a breather before I go see... you know."

Dez looked down at his feet as we walk to the car.

"I get you're only here to clear your consciousness, but I agree with Trish, I think there's something you should know about Austin before you go see him."

"No, I've made it my personal mission to stay clear of his life, do you know I've not read a single magazine in over two years. I don't expect you guys understand, but if I know everything about him, that's all I'll think about when I'm talking to him, comparing his life to mine."

"Well, over time you'll find out eventually."

Once we got in the car I turned my body, to face him. "Look, I don't know how clearly Trish explained to you, but I'm only here for a week."

"I know," He started the engine, but I put my hand out to stop him.

"Dez, after that I'm going back to New York,_ for good_." I said slowly, nodding my head to get him to understand.

"Wait, what?" I've never really saw Dez angry before, but I have seen him get frustrated before, kind of like now, although I can tell he's trying to keep it in. "What do you mean 'for good'?"

"You know I would stay here if I could—"

"You still can."

"No, I can't, there's too much history, too many bad memories here."

"I thought you missed us though?" His eye's looked sad. Great, ten minutes in arriving here I have a pissed off Latina on the other side of the country and a sad Dez.

"I do," I quickly stated. "I miss you all like hell, but more than anything I miss what my life used to be like. I miss being sixteen, when we were all just friends, the four of us, and we wouldn't have traded our friendship up for anyone or anything. It's not the same now, or it wont be if it's anything like three years ago."

Dez rested his head back, closing his eyes. "What happened with us all."

Sometimes I forget that what I did effected Dez and Trish as well, but I still talked to them, I just couldn't see them, not nearly as much as I liked anyway.

"We grew up." I sighed.

After I'd dropped my stuff at Dez' house he drove me to Austin's new apartment. It was in the middle of town and looked very... sharp, and so not like Austin.

"It's going to be okay," Dez reassured me, almost as if he could sense my fear. "Never forget that trust and friendship you guys had. That kind of bond doesn't just disappear."

"Not even if the person does?" I gave a nervous laugh.

"Just remember he doesn't know you're here, so if he gets mad or if he's too in shock—"

"I got it." I felt like I'd said it for the tenth time today.

He looked at me with an uncertainty before he pulled into the parking lot, watching me get out of the car. I bent down to look at him through the window.

"Good luck Ally." He says as I nod.

"I'll need it."

"Call me if you need me." He says, putting the car in gear and driving off.

As Dez drives away I feel like my security blanket has been ripped from me. All that's left between me, and seeing the one boy that's tipped my life upside down, is the sleeping doorman.

And all my preparation seems pointless now because I could have my speech tattooed to the inside of my eyelids and I'd still forget.

* * *

><p>For the seventh time I check the small crumpled paper with his apartment number, making sure I am in fact standing at the right door. Part of me hopes that a complete stranger opens it, and I'll make a short embarrassing ramble to them apologizing, and then I can make my way back home.<p>

But like I told Trish and Dez and my dad, and even the old lady sitting next to me on the plane; I have do this.

And so the short wait between my knock and the door handle unlocking was most definitely the longest pause of my life.

I've had a long time to think about this, to imagine what this moment would be like, what he would look like, sound like... Act like.

"Hello—"

And in this moment, everything stopped.

He was standing there, at the other side of the door, looking at me with such a furrow, trying so hard to register who it really was standing in front of him. After a moment his face lost all tension and his mouth dropped slightly.

I stood there, my legs shaking and my mouth mimicking his. He had definitely changed, no Photoshoot or TV interview had quite captured the little details about him that are different. Like the way he is slightly taller now, his jaw line was a little more defined.

But he was still the same Austin. He still had his blonde hair, and deep hazel eyes and dimples. And the utter shock on his face is almost identical to the last time I saw him.

_Breathe._

My chest started to tighten as the silence only grew. His stare intensified as the seconds ticked by, almost like he was making sure it was me.

"Austin," I croaked, "I uh, hi." _Hi? He deserves more than just fucking 'hi' Ally. _"So I was in town for a while and I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing?" _Because_ _this wasn't totally planed and thought out for over a year._

"A-Ally?" He leaned against the door frame. "You're here? I uh, I don't know what to say—"

"Austin, who's at the door?" A chirpy voice comes from in the flat. It feels like the blood has been drained from my veins and Austin's snapped out of his trance.

Without a single word Austin steps out the apartment, slamming the door shut. I step back a bit, not sure what kind of distance is appropriate for us.

"What are you doing here?" His face was hard, yet he sounded vulnerable, like if he spoke too loud, I'd disappear.

I opened my mouth to speak but suddenly felt overwhelmed.

"I told you, I'm in town for a while." I admitted quietly.

"No, I mean what are you doing _here_, at my apartment?" He questioned, regaining his posture.

I fiddled with my hands, not making eye contact with him. I hate this, I never felt awkward around Austin before, he never let me.

Maybe Dez was wrong, maybe time can change a friendship.

"Well, how long is a 'while'?" He scratched the back of his head.

"About a week." I pursued my lips. "I'm staying with Dez and Carrie."

A short nod was all I got in response. More awkward silence filled the air. _This was a bad idea._

"Well that's great." Austin pulled his hand out of his pocket and gestured to me, rocking back and forth in his feet. "So... How's New York?"

"Big, loud, different from Miami."

My train of thought keeps taking me back to the voice in the apartment.

"Actually, Austin," the words started to tumble out my mouth before I could stop them. "I came back to talk to you." I admitted.

"Yeah?" To my surprise he didn't seem fazed.

I know he was just trying to stay calm, playing it cool was something he always tried to do. Austin wore his heart on his sleeve, but he would go to great lengths to make sure no one saw his raw emotional side.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I know I should have warned you, but I didn't want Dez or Trish to tell you because I thought it would be better if I just showed up, I didn't want you to worry or over-think anything."

_And I'm sorry for everything else._

"It's fine, Dawson." I winced. _Dawson_. Not again. Not this again. He might as well just say to my face that he hates me._  
><em>

I took a deep breath, rubbing my clammy hands against my pants. "I should probably go."

Austin shoved his hands in his pockets, sighing. He was holding back on something. Probably wanting to yell at me for showing up after all these years and leaving again after ten minutes. "No, don't go, you just got here. Do you want to come in for a coffee or something?"

"Not unless coffee is some sort of code for wine because my flight was hell."

A ghost of a smile tugged on his mouth, but he didn't quite let it happen. He nodded his head in the direction of the door, stopping when his hand clutched onto the handle. "I should probably warn you about something."

The thing Dez was referring to?

"Austin, what the hell was— Ally?"

You know the saying 'my stomach has just dropped' well right now, that couldn't be more relatable.

"Piper?" the surprise in my voice couldn't be more prominent, even if I tried.

"I can't believe you're back!" She ran forward and hugged me, I stood there, staring into the apartment as she left the door open. "Austin you never told me Ally was coming over." She scowled at him as I wanted to dig myself a hole.

"Yeah well Dawson here, made it a surprise. For some of us anyway." I could almost feel the bitterness.

Give it time.

"Well come in silly," Piper gushed. "Would you like a drink? A snack? When did you arrive?"

"Slow down Pipes,"

_Pipes_? What the fuck?

"I just got here today." I smiled at her.

"You poor thing. You must be exhausted! Why don't you stay for dinner?"

I looked over at Austin, expecting him to be angry, or distracting himself. But he was staring at me instead. "Yeah, stay."

"Okay."

"Right." Piper clapped, breaking us from our trance. "I'll get Patricia to prepare the veg."

"Patricia?" I asked.

"Our maid." Piper chirped.

_Maid?_

As Piper swayed out the door, Austin signed, turning to me. "Why are you really here?"

"To talk, Austin, I need to talk to you."

"Is that why you came all this way? Just to talk to me."

"Yes." I leaned against the wall, looking him up and down again. "There's somethings that I just need to know. Theres too many unfinished words between us."

"I don't know if you remember but you left us all here." He suddenly snapped, closing his eyes and breathing in. "Sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean that. These days I'm just a little—"

"Hot tempered?"

"Stressed." He stated.

Stressed? Why is he stressed? He has a stable career, and amazing apartment, a freaking _maid_. Who has that?

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I'm just asking for you to talk to me. I think there's a few things we both need to get off our chests. And maybe if you want. We could catch up with each other. You can tell me all about your amazing career, rockstar." I scrunched my nose up, smiling.

"I don't know if I'm prepared for that Dawson, hearing about your amazing life in New York." He was quiet, sad even.

"What makes you think it was so amazing?"

He looked up, like he was trying to read me.

"Ally do you drink Champaign?" Piper asked walking back through with three glass floats.

"I'll drink anything," I laughed.

"Cheers, then." She held her glass up.

"For what?" I asked stupidly, feeling guilty in case it was something cheesy like are little 'reunion'."

"Well for the rest of this year silly. It's going to be a big one, I'm so happy you're back, we were both devastated when you didn't attend the party, but you're here now and that's all that matters—"

"I'm actually only staying a week." I stopped her before she could carry on.

"Yeah but now we can finally contact you again we can arrange dates and get your measurements— that is if you say yes." Piper smiled at Austin, although he didn't return the favor.

How could I say that I don't want to keep in contact with them. I couldn't, not if he was still with her. I focused on my breathing, trying not to panic. After all this time he is still dating her. Nothing has changed. Nothing.

"Yeah, of course." I gulped down some of my drink as I was thinking about what she had said. "Wait, what party? And measurement? I don't understand." Piper tilted her head to the side and Austin looked terrified, to the point where he almost looked sick. "I'm sorry but I don't get what you want me to say 'yes' to?"

"To be my bridesmaid of course." She linked her fingers through Austin's, and only now I notice the glowing rock on her ring finger. "Didn't you get the letter? We're getting married." She squealed.

"Oh fuck." I said, dropping the glass.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: so I really hope you guys prefer this to the first three original chapters that where up that I took down, please feel free to tell me what you thought and you can also follow my twitter which is [ austinzpancake ]**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back! Okay so I have three things to tell you guys. **

**1) I changed my name on twitter! It's now austinzpancake **

**2) so there's been some drama with me recently, let's just say some very ignorant person STOLE my story Her Last Wish, changed the names and took it for their own, I am honestly really mortified that it happened to be honest, I won't name the person and to be honest I just want to forget the whole thing because she really isn't worth it.**

**3) i know there's been a problem with review for those who have accounts and already reviewed on the original chapters, so if you reviewed up to chapter 4 on the original chapters then you guys can't review until chapter 5 (while logged in) but i've had amazing PMs and some of you guys have even reviewed as guests and you're literally all the sweetest ily all. **

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry." I quickly fell to my knees, scrambling to pick up the broken pieces of glass, as what liquid was left in it spread out across the cream carpet.<p>

"It's okay, don't worry I'll go get Patricia." Piper hurried out the room.

I looked up at Austin and he stared back down at me.

No, no he couldn't. He couldn't be getting _married_.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew." He said, slowly bending down to the floor. He put his hand over mine, and for the first time in three years I'm feeling the warmth of his touch again.

"No, it's fine, I mean it's my fault for not keeping up with the latest 'Celebrity gossip'." I tried to smile at him.

He stayed quiet for a minute before standing back up. "So is that all I am to you now? Just some 'celebrity' you read about."

"You know I didn't mean it like that," I said, my voice low. "Shit!" I screeched looking down at my hand where a sharp shard of glass had punctured the skin.

"Oh my god Ally." Piper said rushing back into the room with a small pale woman who looked to be in her mid forties. "I told you to just leave it, are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"I'm fine, honestly it's just a little blood, nothing serious." I said in an attempt to ease her worry.

It annoyed me, _she_ annoyed me. And that made me mad with myself because I shouldn't be annoyed by her, she's perfect. Which is mostly the reason _why_ she annoys me. She has the perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect style. She's kind, probably doesn't have a bad bone in her. She lives in an amazing apartment with an amazing... fiancé. Her life is just, perfect.

"I think I'm just going to go back to Dez', it's been a long day, I'm sorry, maybe I'll stay for dinner another time."

_Or maybe I'll just get the next flight home_.

"Thanks for inviting me in, I know it was a little unexpected."

Austin was standing back, his arms crossed over his chest. It was like there was a brick wall between us, I doubt he'd want to meet up with me now. I'm just the cold-hearted ex-friend that left him without any explanation, well that's from his point of view anyway.

On the plane over I contemplated telling him the whole truth to why I left, asking him if he still didn't remember anything about that night. But I can't because unlike Austin, I do remember every little detail. And having to tell him would rip me apart, maybe even him to. Besides he's engaged now, it wouldn't be right.

This whole trip was pointless. There's no way I can fix things between us now, one of the reasons I left was because of him and Piper. I can't got through that again.

As I closed the door behind me I let out a long breath and pulled out my phone to text Dez.

_Hey, I'm just going to take a walk around the mall and I'll get a taxi home._

Almost instantly he replied, _Sure, just call if you need anything. :)_

I thought for a moment, sad to be asking him, _Could you book me a plane ticket back to New York? Earliest one you can find. I'll explain it later._

And with that I turned off my phone, I can wait until I get back to take his fire round of questions.

* * *

><p>"Well if it isn't Ally Dawson," Dallas mused from behind the bar. "Long time no see."<p>

I sat down on the stool, rolling my eyes at him. "Not much has changed from the looks of things." I remember when he first got a job here, we were seventeen and his uncle owned it. Sure it was a little shady but he let us drink here, and by us I mean our class, Dez and Austin would sneak out sometimes, I came once with team Austin on my eighteenth birthday. It was my first time drinking and I made a complete fool out of myself, Austin ended up taking me home ten minutes after we arrived.

Dallas grinned, throwing a polishing cloth over his shoulder.

"I can't believe you're still working in this dive."

"Hey, I happen to own this _dive_."

My cheeks reddened slightly, but the playful look on his face kept me at ease.

"Sorry," I cringed.

"So what brings little Miss Dawson back to Miami? Last I heard you vanished off the face of the earth." He nodded to me.

"Very funny." I mused as he put an empty wine glass in front of me. "Actually," I put my hand on top of it before he could pour anything in. "I was looking for something a little stronger."

"How strong?"

"Anything that will make me forget the best part of today. I'll take a pounding headache over a couple of memories when I wake up tomorrow."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "First day back that bad?" _You have no idea_. "I have the perfect thing for you." After mixing an impressive amount of toxic liquids together he placed the shot down in front of me. "I call it Amnesia. Trust me, it works a treat."

The first time I drank? Yeah, not so great. The first time I got wasted? That's a memory I could live the rest of my life wishing to forget.

"Well keep them coming."

* * *

><p><em>"I can't believe they got my little Ally-cat drunk." Austin puzzled, completely wasted himself.<em>

_We were lying on top of a hill, at some point during the party we wandered away, sick of the noise._

_"Looks like my drink wasn't the only one they spiked." I giggled uncontrollably. So this is the type of thing they warn us about in health class? I don't know why, it's pretty fun._

_"Our parents are going to kill us." Austin said, resting on his elbows._

_"Not if they don't notice." I pointed out._

_"I think they'll notice." _

_"I'm eighteen, I'm legal, I can have sex, so I should be allowed to drink." I played with the blades of grass, knowing it was just the alcohol talking. My second time drinking has once again ended up in disaster. _

_"Just because you're legal doesn't mean you can just go about and sleep with people__." Austin said in disgust._

_"Hey," I sat up. "How come you get to have sex with whoever you want but I don't?"_

_Austin threw his head back, still stupidly laughing at himself._

_"Answer my question." I glared at him._

_Reluctantly he got up, placing his hand on the side of my face. "Because you're Ally Dawson, you need a boyfriend who loves you so much, even more than you could love him. And that's not possible."_

_"Why not?" My face was red._

_"Because there's only one guy who loves you that much and he's a major fuck up." Austin stated._

_"Why do I have to get the fuck up?" I pouted, repeating his words._

_"Don't swear," he pointed at me, Austin didn't like it when I swore, he always said my personality was to 'innocent' for it. _

_Austin moved closer, resting his forehead on mine. "He just needs to sort some things out first." His soft tone sounded upset._

_"Well.. Well maybe I won't wait for him__." I threw my arms up in exasperation. "I can't wait forever."_

_Austin furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he was having an inner argument with himself. __"Screw it," he mumbled under his breath, using both his hands to pull my face forward. Before my brain could register what was happening, I felt his soft lips on mine. They where slightly damp from our drinks, which still lay beside us. The mixture of the alcohol and his cologne surrounded me._

_We broke away for a breath, and only one thought popped into my head, "Piper." I gasped. They'd been dating for four months now._

_"It's okay," his mouth still open on mine, stealing my breath for his own. "I'm sorting it."_

_He rolled on top of me, careful not to crush me. The light weight on my stomach sent my heart soaring as he trailed kisses around my face. _

_I knew it was wrong, and he was too drunk to realize it was wrong. But I wanted this more than I wanted anything._

_He grabbed my hand, stealing one last kiss from me again, slowly standing up and taking me with him._

_"Where are we going?" I felt flustered as he didn't break eye contact with me._

_"The lake." he spoke equally as quiet__. _

* * *

><p>"So she was just lying there? On the ground?"<p>

Right now I was laying across all three back seats in Dez' car as him and Austin talked about me like I wasn't even there.

It was a twenty-minute drive from the bar to Dez' house, about five minutes into the journey I pretended to be sleeping.

"Dude, she was just passed out hugging a chair, I don't know how Dallas didn't notice sooner."

Austin must have signaled to me because the next thing Dez said was, "Don't worry she's knocked out, she can't hear a thing."

Austin sighed, "I could do with a drink myself." He admitted. "How could you not tell me she was here?"

"It was her choice."

"Dude," Austin said, sounding angry. "It's been three years and she just shows up at my door, it's bad enough you didn't give me any of her contacts but you're my friend, you could have warned me."

"She had her reasons for leaving us. Ally's not the dramatic type, something happened to her, she wouldn't just moved away if everything was fine. We're all adults now, if she still refuses to tell us the cause behind it is pretty fucked up and we've just got to be there for her. Like you said, she's back for now, don't spend that time being mad, take it all in before she slips away again."

"But why would she come back now? If she felt the need to move away then why is she here again?"

"She came back to talk to you bro, that's all."

I opened one eye slightly, Austin had his head rested back and his hands over his face. "I have this horrible feeling that it's all my fault, that I'm the one that fucked it all up."

"And are you?"

"I don't know," I quickly closed my eyes as Austin turned his head around, holding my breath and hoping he didn't see me awake. "I can't think of anything that I could have done to hurt her." He reached over and smoothed a piece of hair out my face. "I would never do anything on purpose."

"Then why—"

"I'm not stupid Dez, it's obvious I was involved, she wouldn't cut me out like that if I wasn't."

There was silence for a moment as Austins hand left my hair.

"Well you better hurry up and fix things, she's only got two days left."

"I though she was staying a week?"

"She asked me to book her an early ticket—"

"Dude—"

"What, you think she's actually going to move back here for you?" Dez slammed his fist against the wheel. I wanted to sit up and stop this whole thing, but part of me had complete trust in Dez' words. "She has her life in New York now, she doesn't need to move back in hopes she can hang out with you for a few hours on a Friday afternoon, when Piper isn't dragging you around wedding planning. We both know how much she cared for you Austin, in more than a friend way, you especially knew that."

"It's been three years I doubt she still has any feelings for me."

"Yeah but she still has those memories."

There was a deathly silence in the car.

_He knew, back then, he _knew.

After that sour conversation they almost instantly returned to the light hearted friends I'd always known them to be. It amazed me how guy friendships worked, so much simpler. At some point I must have really dozed off, because I was suddenly aware of muscular arms lifting me up.

"Her stuff is in the room down the hall, I'll go park my car then I'll be straight in." I heard Dez' voice in the distance, which only meant one thing. Austin was carrying me. I wanted to focus on how close we were, how I could hear his heart beating rapidly, but my mind kept taking me back to that conversation in the car.

Before I knew it my back hit the soft mattress and my shoes where carefully removed. As the soft duvet was placed on top of me I couldn't help but internally smile. I felt his hot breath just above my head, it lingered as I waited for him to plant a small kiss on my forehead, or cheek. To my disappointment he pulled away.

The bed dipped at the side slightly and I focused on my slow patterned breathing. Surely I can't fail and pretending to sleep.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, "I'm sorry you had to be friends with such a screw up, I'm sorry that I made your sophomore year in high school hell, and then convinced you to like me, only to hurt you." He stopped.

I heard a small clinking noise, like a metal chain, being dropped onto the beside table.

"You're right, we both need answers." The bed moved again as he stood up, his footsteps where quiet as he walked towards the door. "See you tomorrow Alls."

_Alls._

~~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

Waking up the next morning I felt like my head was about to explode. I was going to kill Dallas the next time I saw him, not only did he give me the hangover of the century, but I still remember everything about yesterday.

The curtains were drawn open and I quickly added Dez to my hit list as he stood there smiling at me.

"Oh good you're awake."

"Yeah, funny that." I went to sit up, but it was as if there was an invisible force field keeping me down. "Dez, I'm gonna throw up."

"Not in my house you're not."

"I'm being serious—"

"So am I, those sheets are new and I'm not letting the city girl who can't hold her liquor ruin them. Drink this, get dressed, then meet me downstairs in an hour, you have a busy day."

_Nice to know someone's taking the role of Trish for me._

"Since when did you get so bossy?"

"I'm a director, I'm paid to do this." He grinned at me and left the room.

He has something planned for me, I just know it.

I cringed at the thin layer of sweat covering my body. It's a lot hotter in Miami than I remembered.

Shower, I am in definite need of a shower.

Just as I get up to find a bath robe, a glimpse of light catches my eye. Sitting on the bedside table was a familiar looking whistle necklace. _Austin_.

~~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

After following Dez' instructions I decided to just make my way to the living room. I stopped to look at the pictures hanging on the walls. There were a few of him with famous actors who starred in his movies, some of him and Carrie and then finally, at the end of the hall, were two team Austin pictures. One, in a yellow frame. It was the first day of 'Team Austin'. The second, was in a red frame.. It was one of the last pictures of us all together. We were standing in the practice room again. It was the first picture I'd seen in a long time where I looked happy.

"Can you believe how young we looked?"

I jumped at the sudden voice, Austin was standing next to me, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared intently at the photos. Dez didn't mention he was here?

"Yeah," My voice cracked a little, before I let out a pathetic cough to try and clear it. "I mean, we haven't changed that much... Really." I stared down at the ground.

Because the truth was we had, a lot.

Austin shrugged, "Maybe." Shoving his hands in his pockets he started to walk down the hall. My shoulders slumped as I followed after him. Making sure to keep a distant pace.

"Well don't you clean up nicely." Dez greeted me at the door, handing me a cup of coffee.

"Well it's a good job I did considering we have a guest this morning." I tightened my grip around the mug.

A playful smile danced across his face when he caught my eyes wander to the blonde in the corner eating what looked like stale toast. "Oh, yeah, forgot to mention, Austin came over earlier today. Shouldn't be that much of a surprise considering he was 'hanging' with us late last night."

_Did he know I was awake? _

"Seriously though," Dez leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Don't scare me like that again."

"I'm sorry," I put my hand on his arm and he gave me a subtle nod.

"So." Dez yelled, clapping his hands together. Sometimes I think he forgot he wasn't on a set.

Austin jumped, nearly choking on his food. I had to hold in my laugh. Even after all these years he still has the same terrified look as if he's a deer caught in headlights.

"I'm going to be late for our lunch plans today, Carrie's flights been delayed so I'm picking her up from the airport and we'll come straight to meet you guys." Dez continued.

Meet _Us_?

"Do you want me to come with you?" I laughed nervously.

_He wouldn't._

"Don't worry, Austin can take you."

_He just did._

I could have killed Dez, by the look on Austin's face, we were on the same page.

"Uh. Yeah. I just need to go do a few things first, I can pick you up in an hour?" Austin cleared his throat.

"Yeah, that will work."

When he left I threw my head back and pointed my arm in Dez' direction.

"I hate you." I declared to him.

"It's for the best."

"I know," I sighed. "But I still hate you, and I strongly need you to know that."

* * *

><p>This will be good, it's what we both want, what we both need. It was just, unexpected, I honestly thought I would have more time to prepare myself.<p>

As Austin walked around the car to get into the driver's side I had about four seconds to have an inner break down.

The drive to the restaurant we arranged to go to was half an hour away. The first half was filled with silence as I pretended to listen to the radio and Austin pretended to watch the road.

I know he's curious to ask what happened with me yesterday, but_ 'is it too soon?' 'Would it be passing a boundary we have between us now?' _I can basically hear his thoughts.

"Nice car," I give a small nod of approval. "It's very..."

"Unlike me." He spoke for the first time since we got in the vehicle.

"I was going to say fancy, but your words not mine." I patronized. "Don't get me wrong, this is the type of car you always dreamed of, I just never actually pictured you owning something like this."

He took a while to reply, furrowing his eyebrows, "Thanks."

"I liked your truck better." I whispered, but it got his attention.

"Yeah."

Well this conversation is going well...

As the car comes to a halt at a red light I turned my body to face him as much as possible. I could feel all the strength I had within me slowly fade away. "Austin, can we talk? Actually talk."

Austin didn't reply for a while, so I looked back out the window.

As soon as the lights changed to green Austins foot slammed down on the gas and the car leaped forward. Taking a quick right turn.

"I know there's stuff you want to know." I paused for a moment, thinking carefully about my next move. "I heard you guys in the car."

A short panic spread across his face. He can't get out of this, not this time. I bit my lip, it's ironic that I could actually make him nervous, when I, myself, can barely get out a sentence to him without a shaken rambled mess or avoiding eye contact.

"I feel like I don't know who you are." He was talking in a way that almost sounded like he was on his own. "I don't recognize you, I don't recognize us."

"I get it." I said, because for once, I actually did.

"When I think back to when we were younger..."

"It's like looking back on someone else's story." I finished for him.

He looked over at my briefly before turning his attention back to the road. "Exactly." Austin let out a long sigh, "Why did you leave?"

Well, like I said, if we're going to talk, I'll have to give him something, just not everything. Not at this point in our lives anyway.

"I wasn't happy here." I admitted, "I just couldn't spend the rest of my life feeling like that, being around the people who made me feel that way, so I thought I'd take the easy way out and leave early."_ Not that it worked out so great in the end_.

"Why was I one of those people?" He was trying to control his anger, not so much at me, just.. The situation.

"When I left, it was to get away from the things that hurt me, if I kept in contact with you then there would be no point—" I felt a lump in my throat. Austin's face looked pained. I knew he had his suspicions, but I shouldn't have worded it like that. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It's fine. It's something I've needed to hear for a long time. So thanks."

But it wasn't, it was only a portion of the full truth. And I know he isn't satisfied, if anything I'm making the situation worse. I could tell him part of the reason to why he hurt me. That every time I saw him with Piper part of me fell apart. But that would be awkward now, especially since they're still together, getting married.

His jaw line was hard and his eyebrows were in a furrow. I wanted to smooth them our with my finger, like I used to do when he got stressed.

"I may not have called you, or text you." I began what I hoped would be the speech to help me get through the rest of the car journey. "I may not have social media to keep up with you and vise-versa. And I know for a fact how difficult it was when you couldn't get your closest friend to tell you where I was." I reached over and touched his arm, he tensed for a short second, and I was afraid he was going to brush me off, but I continued before he had a chance. "That doesn't mean that I ever stopped caring about you Austin. It's just, distancing myself from you was the only way I thought I could move on and be happy. If you were the reason I felt the way I did, I thought it would be as simple as moving away and forgetting about you, the everything would be okay again."

Austins knuckles where white against the steering wheel.

"And then I realized that it could never be as simple as that. Because if you care about someone, no matter how isolated you are from them, no matter how far away you are. You can't get rid of the memory." My voice went low again, I didn't take my eyes off his face. "When you care about someone they have a place in your heart, a place that can't be taken away."

Austin let out a breath, shaking his head. "So how does telling me this help you move on?"

"It doesn't, not completely. I mean, when I saw you for the first time since arriving back here, part of me was tempted to stay. I started to question why I left in the first place."

"And something changed your mind?"

"Yeah, the reason to why I left. It's always going to be here Austin. I'll never escape it. There's no point in my staying here, and that's why I'm leaving early."

He let his next question drag out for longer than I would have liked, almost as if he was scared to ask. But I'm pretty sure he already knew. "Was it because of Piper?"

"No." I breathed in, playing with the hem of my skirt. "Piper was my friend, sort of, she's a really nice person."

And so that out rules me telling him about her then.

When we finally arrive at the restaurant and Austin parked the car and turned the engine off, my heart nearly stopped when I felt his hand take mine. "I don't want you to leave tomorrow."

And there it is, the thing he's been holding in.

"I have to, it's already paid for."

"Can't you re-book the tickets? Stay here longer, I'll pay for it." He looked like he was close to begging, but of course he wouldn't.

"And do what, Austin? I have nothing more to do after this."

"I don't see how you think we can just let everything out into the open and then you can go back to New York and everything will be fine. You left because I did something to you, yet you still haven't told me what it was, there's still going to be secrets between us."

"Austin, you not knowing what you did to me is proof enough of why it hurts so much. You don't remember, and I don't want to remind you, it's not right, it would ruin everything and I can't do that to you."

"It's already ruined everything, it ruined us."

"I'm not everything Austin." I didn't really know how to react, "You have everything you need, with me out the way it's better, for everyone."

"See, this is where you fuck me up, Ally," He leaned over and put his hand on the side of my face. "I need more than that, I've waited all this time for you to come back home and I can't wait any longer, please." He whispered, "You were one of my best friends, I need to fix this."

"Austin," I sighed, staring up at the car roof. _Don't cry Ally_.

"I want to fix this for us. I don't want you to leave and never see you again."

"Why do you even care so much that I left? I am just one person, out of all the people you know."

"Because you were a big part of my life, you were one of the people who made an impact on me, in a positive way, and I wanted to have you around, that's what happens with people you like, you enjoy being around them. And it hurts like hell when you can't see them."

I unclipped my seat belt and shot out the car. I need air.

I heard Austins door open and then slam shut

"Give me one good reason to why I shouldn't care about you Ally? I'm not some inconsiderate asshole who doesn't have feelings, do you have any idea what was going through my head when I opened that door to you. You aren't just some distant memory that I have no attachment to."

"You have Piper!" And now it was my turn to burst. If he wouldn't let it go then fine, let me embarrass myself, I seem to do that well around him. "Austin what honest excuse have you got for me that makes me more important than you're own fiancé. I'm not your best friend, I'm not your family and I'm not your soon-to-be wife, so I'm _not_ as important as you think." I had to take a breather, I didn't dare look at him. "I'm just some girl who was confused about her feelings and now I'm a grown woman and I still can't sort things out for myself." I hated to admit it. "And you _can't_ 'fix' anything." An ache started to tingle in the back of my neck as I tried to keep my voice steady. People were looking out the window from their tables, but I couldn't even begin to care about that.

"I can try." He started to walk towards me, but I moved away.

"Austin, I can't argue with you anymore." I finally said. "Maybe it would have been better if I never showed up, our friendship can't be rekindled." I looked down at the ground.

"I guess not." His voice was yet again, distant.

His facial expressions spoke louder than the conversation we just had. "So I guess that means we should just forget everything."

"I'll always care about you Austin." I said to him.

"I'll always care about you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: helloooo... So yesterday was stressful if you are in the twitter fandom. R5 realised a new song and music video and the cast and R5 were hanging out and there was so many tweets and pictures AND RAURA PIGGY BACK PICTURES and it was exhausting..**

**Huge shout out to lynchxdipippa who helped me write a lot of this, I would not have been able to finish it without her and you guys would all be hating me for another week, lol.**

* * *

><p>I got out of the cab in front of the airport, paying the driver and getting my bags out. When I turned, looking at the entrance, I stopped in my tracks.<p>

He was standing there, his blonde hair flopping over his hazel eyes. He was wearing a dark blue button down, and I couldn't help but stare slightly at the way it hugged his body. But, he was looking at me with a smirk on his face.

I shook my head and walked up to him, my carry-on over my shoulder, and my suitcase trailing behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, as I met him in front of the airport.

He smiled bigger before he uncrossed his arms and put them in his pocket.

"I was thinking about what you said the other night." He shrugged his shoulders, leaning towards me as he rocked back and fourth on his feet, "And I want to try."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Try what?"

"To be friends again."

I sighed, blowing my bangs out of my face in the process. "Austin I don't—"

"You know if I remember correctly," he said, interrupting me, "You were the one that always wanted to try new things."

I tilted my head to the side, staring up at him. "And if I remember correctly," it was almost like I was challenging him, "You were the one that believed too much change isn't always the best."

"Ah," But Austin interjected, "That was before I took the leap of faith and decided to put your song up on the internet. Besides, it's not change, nothing's going to be new, it's just.. Going back to the way things used to be."

"Before I left?"

"No, during the good part. When it was just you, me, Dez and Trish." The amount of confidence radiating from him was incredible.

"There's only one problem with that." I tightened my grip on the suitcase handle. "It's not just me, you, Dez and Trish anymore."

"Don't worry about the others," he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, clearly not aware that his breath gave me shivers. "We can eliminate them." He laughed to himself. "But seriously Ally, I couldn't think straight after the other day at the diner."

It never failed to amaze me how he could go from two completely different emotions in such a short space of time.

"You know Austin," my mouth hung open slightly as I thought of what to say next. "I don't know what else there is for us to do, what we said to each other.. We can't take that back."

"You said you'll always care about me."

"Of course—"

"And I'll always care for you."

My shoulders sagged as I checked my watch, I still have two hours until the flight. "I know that, now—"

"Then let me show you. People with friendships like us don't just stop." A smile tugged at the side of his mouth again. "Three years, a few hundred miles and a couple of arguments won't keep me away Dawson."

And for the first time ever, him calling me Dawson didn't have a negative attachment.

"1980 miles," I looked back up to him. "To be exact that is."

I had to think about it, _really_ think about it.

I could go back to New York and regret my life, wallowing in the fact that I lost my best friend, again.

Or, I could stay here and watch him get married. Because no matter what, even after all this time, I can't help the way I react around him, how I feel about him. And I will have to live with the memories of _that night_ for the rest of my life, knowing that it didn't even effect him because he doesn't remember.

I slowly slid my carry-on off my shoulder and passed it to him. His confused face soon became clear as his eyes widened.

"We'll try."

"We will." he gleamed.

"But it's our last chance."

"Well we won't need another one, it's going to work Ally."

"Good," my voice choked up slightly, "because I am not going through all that again."

We looked at each other, in a bubble of our own, smiling like idiots. And it wasn't hard for me to realize that no matter how many things he has done that have hurt me, not being near him hurts way more.

"Oh god," I smiled, looking up trying to get rid of the tears that had snuck up on me. I heard Austin's chuckles in the background.

Just as I went to tilt my head back down Austin's arms wrapped around me. He was warm, and his smell surrounded me, comforting me. I let go of the suitcase, squeezing my arms around him as tight as I could, and resting my head on his chest.

In this moment I didn't care if I seemed desperate, _three years_ I've craved this.

His cheek was pressed against the top of my head, I could hear his heart again, beating wildly, mine matching. We didn't move, we just stayed there, hugging tighter, making up for lost time I guess.

"So friends." He mumbled.

Yes, because if this wasn't the final push I needed to realize that I couldn't survive without him around, I don't know what was.

"Always." I replied.

* * *

><p>"Could you, wait outside for a minute?" Austin said. I nodded. He closed the door and I released the tension in my shoulders, leaning against the hall railing.<p>

"Piper what's wrong with her staying here?" I heard Austin say through the door after a few minutes of whispering.

"What's wrong is that you could get her the best hotel room in Miami but you want her to stay here? Why?" Piper said.

I moved closer to the door so I could hear them better.

"Dez went back to LA for the week with Carrie, he wouldn't have left if he knew she was going to end up staying." He was beginning to sound frustrated. "I don't want her to think I'm throwing her out. She was my best friend Piper, I need to figure out why she left." He exasperated. "And I can't just let her leave when she's so close."

"I thought she already told you." Piper said. I could imagine him running his hands through his hair, like he always did when he got stressed.

"And now I've told her that we _can_ actually try. I don't think she's telling me everything and it's going to take a lot of time for us to go back to how we used to." There was a pause, and for a moment I was sure they knew I was listening.

"Piper you saw how I was when she left. I was a wreck. She's back and I need to figure out what I did." I was relieved to hear Austin's voice in the distance again, but I couldn't help but frown at what he said. "Besides," he suddenly sounded curious. "You want her here as well, you did invite her to the wedding, so I don't see your problem." He snapped, surprising me.

Piper heaved a big sigh. "Look, of course, she's my friend too. I want her to be one of my bridesmaids for god-sake. But I really don't think—"

I imagined him grabbing her shoulders and making him look at her, because he always used to do that to me.

"I got her to stay two weeks longer than she planned. Maybe if I figure out why she left, fix what I did, you'll have your bridesmaid and I'll have my best friend back."

There was another silence. My breathing was rapidly paced and I tried to control it. I didn't want to be a bridesmaid, I didn't want to go to the wedding, I just wanted to be around him.

"Ok." I heard Piper say, and there was an audible sigh of relief from both me and Austin.

I knew he was twirling her around in his arms and giving her a kiss, it was just something he would do, to my dismay. But I won't dwell on it, I'm doing this for him, and myself I suppose.

The door opened and Austin was standing there, Piper under his arms, her own around his waist. I figured it was best to just pretend I hadn't heard anything.

I could just stay a night and then get money out the bank tomorrow to get a hotel room until Dez came back.

"Ally, I'm so happy you decided to stay!" Pipers voice was chirpy, "It's going to be so fun, having you with us."

Sadly I couldn't see it far enough, but I kept the smile on my face, mimicking Austin's.

"Well as long as you still don't judge me for chopping pickles over my pancakes in the morning I think we'll do just fine. Bad habits never die."

Austin threw his head back as I scrunched my nose up at him. Piper however, stood there with an awkward smile.

"Sorry Ally," she let out a forced laugh. "We don't eat pancakes."

I almost had to ask her to repeat it, but I knew I heard her right.

"Sure," I nearly fell to the floor with laughter. "Getting Austin to not eat pancakes. Good one." I bent down to pick up my suitcase, wondering how much longer I'd be standing in the hall. When I looked up they both had the same poker face. "Oh you're serious."

"It's part of our no-carb diet." Piper explained, "In preparation for the wedding."

"Well then I'm guessing my plans for cooking you guys breakfast tomorrow are out the window."

"Don't worry about that." Piper gestured her hand towards me, "Austin don't just stand there take her bags, poor Ally looks like she's about to break."

Austin moved forward, taking my bags from me and walking into the house. Piper came over and linked her arm through mine. "Tomorrow we're going to be looking at places to hold the rehearsal dinner, and as one of my bridesmaids you're invited to come along."

"Actually Piper, about that whole bridesmaid thing, I don't know if it's such a great idea. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm honored, really. But I'm sure there's other people better suited."

"Ally," She sounded slightly hurt. "I chose you because you're my friend. I wouldn't just hand this to anyone, I mean I'm letting you stay in my house for Christ sake." Her voice went up an octave and I stopped.

I wanted to ask her _when_. When was I ever her friend? Because honestly I don't remember. But she's never once been unpleasant or mean to me, not when we were eighteen, and not now, she was right. My decisions to stay and leave are affecting her as well. So I'm really not in a great place to complain about anything.

"Sorry!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh god Ally I'm so sorry, this whole wedding thing is just so stressful. I don't think people realize that eight months is not long enough to plan everything."

"No worries." I put my hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you, what I meant to say was, as much as I'm thankful, I'll be traveling back and fourth from Miami to New York a lot, I don't want to over complicate things for you."

I was so close to cheering with how well I just saved that. But the distressed looked on Pipers face made me contain my ego.

"That won't be a problem," she over came her emotions quickly, "In fact it works out perfectly."

"Hey Ally you're stuff is down the hall, last room on the right. I figured you'd want something with a beach view. I can't imagine you'd see it very often in the city." Austin said, walking over to us with two pillows in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Piper said, pointing to him.

"Ally can only sleep with one pillow, anything more is too high for her."

"Hey!" I grinned, surprised he would remember. "I'm sorry I don't reach the height requirements, not all of us were born to be human trees." I said as a pillow came flying towards my face.

"Well." Piper said loudly, getting both our attention. I dropped the pillow onto the floor, _don't upset the bride Ally_. "I was just telling Ally here that her living in New York won't be an issue for her being one of my bridesmaids."

I looked back at Austin, who looked as confused as I felt.

"How?" He frowned.

"Because we're having the wedding there." She squealed. "I was thinking we could have our wedding pictures in Central Park before the reception, think of how beautiful the background will be." She babbled on, eventually being interrupted by Austin.

He walked forward, grabbing onto her elbow and talking lowly, even though we could all hear him clearly.

"I thought we were still discussing venues. We still had the whole beach idea on the table." his face was hard, but the way he looked at her, even when he was mad, his eyes were still soft, nothing could change that.

"Yes but do you know how difficult it is to get something like this in the location it's in. There was a cancellation, if I didn't take it there and then we wouldn't have had a chance."

"You should have told me Piper."

"Uh, guys." I said awkwardly. "I need to go call Trish and Dez and explain to them what's happening." I made up the excuse to prevent myself from standing there any longer.

"Wait Ally I still need to talk to you about the bridesmaid thing."

As if my guardian angel was watching, my phone started ringing.

"I'm sorry I need to take this." I smiled, hurrying away, pressing the answer button without checking the caller ID.

"Hey," I breathed into the phone. "You're a lifesaver."

"I wish I could say the same about you." The voice on the other end of the line made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Gavin?"

"So you're flight arrived, without you on it." He sounded annoyed.

"You weren't at the airport were you?" I cringed.

"Yes, and I wasn't alone."

My stomach dropped at the thought, "Shit, Gavin I'm sorry, tell her I'm really sorry."

"She knows," he deadpanned. "I had to tell her that you weren't allowed back because you didn't eat all your vegetables." I could sense his smile through the line, even though he was pissed at me. "At least it's got her eating all of hers now, so I'll give you that."

"I meant to call, I did, it's just, things got a little hectic."

"Well how long are you staying? You know she'll be asking for you soon. There's only so many lies I can tell her, just because she's nearly three doesn't mean she can't tell when I'm speaking crap." He chuckled.

"Honestly, I don't know. I want to make things right again, well Austin said we should at least try anyway, and he's right."

"You have got to be kidding me—"

"Don't start." I snapped. "I can't physically, mentally or emotionally deal with another argument right now, I'll call tomorrow before she has to go to school." I hung up the phone, feeling guilty.

"Was that Trish?" Austin said from behind me, making me jump slightly. I shoved my phone into my pocket, shaking my head.

"No, it was uh.. It was my gran— the cabbage one— yeah she was just asking if I'd kept in contact with my little cousin, nothing important." I brushed him off, walking into the bedroom. He wasn't wrong when he said beach view, the windows opened out into a balcony which was built right above the sand.

"So we're really going to do this?" Austin asked.

"What? The friend thing?"

"The trying to be friends again thing."

"I don't think that will be too hard," I reassured him. "I mean I wouldn't be talking to you like this if you weren't my friend." I faced him.

"Before you know it we'll be having underwear parties again."

My face reddened as I nearly hit him. "That was one time, and you and Dez arrived at my house early and didn't knock on the door before walking in on me and Trish getting changed." The memory was vivid, and more embarrassing than passing out after I took my first shot a Dallas' bar, AKA that time Austin had to take me home after 10 minutes.

"I remember it like it was yesterday," he mocked as I pushed him towards the door.

"Do you also remember Trish giving you both a black eye, because that's the only part of that night I didn't want to forget."

"It wasn't a black eye—"

"You guys cried, my case is closed." I said, shutting the door on him.

"For the record," he shouted, "it marked a special day in all of our friendships with team Austin."

"And for _your_ record," I shouted back, "if you ever tell anyone about that story, I will make sure you don't live to see another pair of boobs."

"New York changed you Dawson," he tutted at me. "This is going to be a fun journey."

Fun is one way of putting it, but I have a feeling the next eight months are going to come with their own pieces of hell.

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><p><strong>AN: hope you guys liked that, I love the feedback this stories getting, it's really heartwarming And ilysm.**

**Follow me on twitter: austinzpancake **

**sneak peak for next chapter: smut. I did rate the story M for a reason ;) **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I've added things and edited it! Sorry if you thought this was a new update. I added a few things I thought it lacked but don't feel like you have to read it again. **

**This is the start of the smutty stuff so there's only a taster so far, thanks to lynchxdipippa for helping me out so much on this.**

**Also for those of you who couldn't review while being logged in, that's issue is now resolved and you can review if you want! **

**I really loved seeing you talk about the last last, it's divided, half of you think ally has has a kid with Gavin, the other half think its Austins.  
><strong>

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><p><em>The tip of his tongue went along the seam of my lips, asking for permission. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him in, curling my fingers around the hairs at the nape of his neck.<em>

_I continued letting out short gasps at the freezing cold water around my hips._

_He kissed the side of my mouth and trailed down to my neck, almost reaching my collarbone before I put my hand on his hair, making him look up._

beep beep beep

_Grazing my earlobe with his teeth, he made me bite my lip. He kissed a trail across my cheek until he was back at my lips. My hands slid into the back pockets of his jeans as his fingers grabbed the belt loops on mine which were hanging off me with the weight of the water._

_Why were we in the lake again? Better yet, why were we still clothed?_

Beep Beep Beep

_I felt his warm hands slide under my shirt and onto my back, our kisses becoming hungry and deeper. I couldn't tell where one of us ended and the other one began anymore._

_"Mine." I whispered, tracing his lips with my fingers the moment I had the chance to. He had his eyes closed, like he was fighting with himself about something, and I had a feeling I knew what. But, before I could say anything, he took my hand and kissed the palm of it, slowly dragging it down his torso until my hands were in his pants, reaching for his—_

"Ally wake up." A groggy voice whispered, making me jump. My hair was plastered to my face and the bed sheets were tangled up round my legs.

I looked up, squinting me eyes. The room was dark, but I couldn't miss the bright hair. I wrapped the covers tightly around myself, conscious that I could have been caught mid wet dream. What if I was being too loud, sleep talking— or moaning.

"The alarm was going off." He seemed disorientated with sleepiness.

Maybe he didn't notice, I mean he barely knew where he was. "Sorry, I don't even remember setting it." I cringed, still trying to catch my breath. I looked around, seeing the little lit box next to the bed, suddenly aware that it didn't belong to me.

"It's my fault, I forgot to turn it off yesterday." He mumbled, waving his hand and stumbling back out the room, knocking into the door frame on the way out.

"Austin." I called him back, but he didn't hear me. I sat up, now fully alert and confused, I reached for my phone.

3:14AM

Great.

How could I get back to sleep now, especially after that dream. _That dream_. I can't get it out my head, how far would my mind have gone. It gave me chills, I could almost _feel_ it.

Looking down one last time I noticed had one missed message, swiping onto it, Gavin's name appeared at the top.

**I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't want you to go to sleep angry.**

I threw my head back. I really don't need this right now, I just need to focus on one thing at a time. I contemplated on texting back for a moment, but my guilt eventually overshadowed my anger.

**It's okay, I'm sorry too. I know you only have the best intentions for me.**

Which wasn't at all far from the truth, Gavin is a huge person in my life, and he always will be. And don't get me wrong I love how much he cares, but he worries way too much, and again, I understand. I don't think he could deal with another heartbreak.

Suddenly a sound came from the far end of the hall, making me drop my phone into my lap.

I stared at the door which was opened slightly, listening out for any other sounds. After a few seconds I heard a curse, followed by another loud clash, it was coming from the kitchen.

My heart started racing fast, _please let that be Austin. _

I continued to sit up, on guard almost. But after the third clatter I decide to get up, throwing a thin sweater over my t-shirt. _  
><em>

I could hear my feet padding down the hall, not sure what exactly I'd do if it wasn't him in the kitchen. As I passed Austin and Pipers bedroom I could hear snoring, the room was closed but it was definitely loud and clear.

As I continued to make my way to the kitchen I tried to avoid looking at the pictures they had of each other with their other 'friends' who I'd never heard of, hanging on the walls. I was just relived to finally opened the door, although I did nearly let out a yelp.

Looking more distraught than ever was Austin sitting on the floor surrounded by pots and pans. I couldn't help myself laugh a little. I wasn't expecting this..

At the sound his head shot up. "Piper I'm so sorry I swear— Ally?"

"Let me guess," I smirked. "This was an accident right?"

"If Piper asked then yes, yes it was." His voice was more alert now.

"And you had nothing to do with it?"

"Nope, if anything, I came to the rescue." The relief flooded to his face as he stood up.

"You really couldn't have been any louder, could you? I'm surprised half of Miami didn't wake up never mind Piper."

Austin stretched, looking around helplessly again at the mess. "She would sleep through an atomic bomb." He smiled slightly.

I'd lying if I said it didn't make my stomach twinge slightly. The little things. I miss the little things that he notices about people. Like the pillow thing, my heart lurched when he remembered. And he doesn't even realize it.

I shook my head, as if the physical gesture would literally clear my mind. "So uh, what were you doing exactly?" I questioned, walking over to him. He looked up again, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. "C'mon Austin, don't be shy." I teased, bending down to pick up some of the pots.

"Ever since you reminded me about the carb thing me and Piper have, all I can think about is pancakes. It's driving me insane." He groaned. I smirked at his confession. "Plus I couldn't get back to sleep after the alarm."

"I could say the same thing." I raised my eyebrows.

His shoulders slumped as he took the pots from me, turning to place them carefully on top of the counter. "Don't ask, it's a long story."

I scrunched my nose, crossing my arms over my chest. "You said Piper's a heavy sleeper, right?" I changed the subject quickly, getting an idea and looking at the clock.

"Yeah." He said slowly, by the look on his face he knew I was up to something.

Things are still, _weird_ between us. Don't get me wrong I'm so relived we can hold a conversation now, but it's no where near the 'old us'. However, in moments like this, I see a glimpse of hope.

"Because she slept through your pan fiasco." I stated.

"Yes." Austin started picking up the rest of the pots that were still laying on the floor.

"And she could easily sleep through an atomic bomb." Like he had said.

"Probably."

"So she'd definitely not wake up if we happened to sneak out your house at three thirty AM. Right?"

His smile said it all. "I knew you had something up your sleeve Dawson." He chuckled as he grabbed his keys.

I couldn't help but laugh again. I held my hand out, tapping my foot. "Slow down, you don't even know where we're going."

Austin paused for a moment, frowning. "So I'm guessing you want to drive?" He asked.

"Like I said, I know where we're going,. Now hand the keys over Moon."

He squinted his eyes, tightly holding onto them, before he eventually let go. "If you crash."

"I won't crash." I said dramatically, "You should have more trust in your fellow peers Austin."

I started walking towards the door, slipping on the pair of boots that I had worn yesterday. We were still in our pyjamas and I'm pretty sure my hair resembled a mane. But I had one thought and one thought only in my head, and nothing would stop me. Not even the pouting blonde trailing behind me.

"Maybe I would if you weren't such a horrible driver." He mumbled.

I gasped, twirling around. "Take that back." I crossed my arms again. "I'm not a _horrible_ driver."

"May I remind you of the _betting_ incident?"

"That was one time." I snapped. "And I never said I was a great driver either." I said to quickly shut him up from reminiscing on yet another embarrassing memory.

~~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

"Denny's Diner?"

"It's a good place, I swear." I said driving into the empty car park.

"Aren't all 24 hour diners?" He mused.

"Well excuse me rockstar. Some of us still eat in places that don't cost $100 for salad."

"You know I'm really starting to worry what pop culture had taught you about celebrities these past few years." He unbuckled his seatbelt.

Celebrity, huh? Would have never caught him calling himself that three years ago.

"Well maybe I'm starting to worry what it's done to you. I mean we used to eat in diners all the time." I told him. "Do you want to eat pancakes or not? The wedding is eight months away. That's a long time without your favourite thing in the world."

He laughed to himself, as if he'd made a joke that no one else was allowed to hear. "Well I can't argue with that." He put his hands up.

Just as we got out the car, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Gavin, again.

**Thank you. You should get to sleep, there's a lot we need to talk about tomorrow.**

I looked up, Austin was leaning against the car, looking at me. Curiosity from what Gavin had said was getting the better of me, but I didn't want to let anything ruin this moment, it's not everyday I'll be able to drive him to a diner at three in the morning.

"Everything okay?" Austin asked.

"Perfect." I lied, "let's go inside. It's kind of cold."

Austin walked close to me as we went into the empty diner. I could almost feel his body heat radiating.

There was a man at the far end, he looked like a trucker. The waitress was leaning against the counter, snapping from her trance as the doors shut behind us.

I lead Austin to a booth. One I'd been to all to many times before. A woman in her late twenties walked up to us, Maggie her name was. I'd gotten to know her quite well.

"Ally," she smiled. "Glad you're back, I've missed you." She touched my arm. "So what can I get you? The usual?"

"Yeah." I smiled at her, her eyes were tired, but she still kept a smile on her face. "This is Austin."

Her grin intensified as she saw him. "Well isn't it a pleasure to meet you, Austin." She stuck her hand out to shake his.

"Great to meet you to. I had no idea you and Ally knew each other."

I gave Maggie a glance, and she nodded back.

"You get to know the late comers." She said, "Not many people drop by at these hours." She sighed, smoothing out her apron. "Anyway, what can I get for you sweetie?"

Austin looked down at the menu, there wasn't that much of a choice, but at the moment I don't think it really mattered to him. "I came here for pancakes, so surprise me." He grinned back.

Maggie walked off, a little bounce in her strut.

Austin leaned back, putting his arm over the back of his booth seat. "So you drive me to this 24 hour diner outside of town, and you know the waitress. How many times have you been here exactly?"

I've heard about the rule that nothing good happens after 2AM, maybe that's true. But right now it's the perfect opportunity to admit yet another one of my many secrets.

"I've tried to visit before." I admitted sheepishly. "I never actually got further than here. I call it Denny's point. You know, stop for something to eat and end up telling the waitress all my life problems, only to back out and head home again." I tried to laugh it off, but the sad truth was I couldn't. I got so close, so many times.

I looked at Austin, his eyes were soft. "Why?"

Why what? Why did I try and come back or why couldn't I get further than here? Honestly I didn't know the answer to either. So I just shrugged.

I stood up. It was so silent, so still. It felt like the whole world was asleep. "I'll go get us some drinks." I told him.

When I got to the counter Maggie was staring at Austin, a smile on her face. "So you made it past the Denny point."

"I did."

"I'm proud of you Honnie." She said, pouring two cups of coffee. "You got the guy and brought him back."

I paused, breathing in slowly. "About that, Maggie. I don't actually have him. I mean he's my friend, yeah, but that's it. Like we used to be. He's my best friend."

She titled her head to the side, a frown appearing on her face. "What you two had didn't sound like just a friendship to me."

"He's engaged." I took the cups from her. "And he's happy. That's all that matters."

"You know you're allowed to be happy as well, Ally." She said.

~~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

"Okay you were right. This place is amazing." Austin said while diving into his second plate. "Feel free to have these spontaneous ideas again."

I gave a mumble in response, looking down at my phone again. I had eventually given in and asked Gavin what it was we had to talk about, it was driving me to insanity. He listed off a few things I'd expected him to, but then he brought up Sophie and my Dad and I've been on edge since.

"What's wrong, you look like you've just witnessed someone kick a puppy." Austin stated.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look _fine_."

"Then stop looking."

I gave him a snappy glance before returning my focus to the food in front of me, stabbing my fork into it.

Austin leaned back, scratching his chin. "So your gran, huh?" He referred back to yesterday, catching me off guard a little.

"Yeah, what about her?" I took a sip of coffee, looking at the far end of the diner where the trucker was now talking to Maggie.

"It's just I could have sworn you'd called her _Gavin_ the other night."

I blew lightly into the cup, making the coffee swirl. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? So you don't talk to Gavin at all anymore?"

I sighed. Slamming the drink down on the table. Why does he care? "What's this really got to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I just don't see why you felt the need to hide it from me." He was trying to make it seem like he didn't care, but I could see the irritation in his eyes.

"Look," I struggled to find words. "Of course I still keep in contact with him, I've met lots of new people since I moved, he was a friendly face when I first got to New York, we..."

"You what?"

"It's complicated okay, but Gavin is someone who will most likely be in my life forever. He's a good person."

"I can tell." Austin grumbled, "The guy can't leave you alone."

He must have noticed the confusion on my face as he simply pointed down to my phone where five missed messaged brightened the screen.

Thanks Gavin. Thanks a lot.

"Are you two, together?" He asked awkwardly.

I pushed my plate to the side, leaning forward. "Why? Is Austin Moon up for a gossip session?"

"No." He scoffed, "I'm just curious. That's what _friends_ do right."

"Of course, _friends_ love to tell each other secrets. Which is why I have just as much of a right to ask you why you set an alarm for three in the morning in a random room in your house." I raised my eyebrows at him.

He met my glare, his hand twitching. "Touché Dawson."

* * *

><p><strong>You might have noticed the that in the first chapter she they were 17 Austin also said touché Dawson, fun fact Right.<strong>

**So I received this AMAZING review through PM off the one and only Luckystarz910, of her prediction on what she thinks has happened between Austin & Ally and her views so far. she's very passionate about the story.. **

**Luckystarz910: OKAY so I've literally read all four chapters again and I'm convinced that I'm right. Anyways, I don't give a flying f*** what Piper wants. I'm married, yes wedding planning was stressful but she's a f*** c***. She's backing Ally into a corner forcing her to be a bridesmaid, you know why she's doing it? not because ally's her friend. No. It's because she feels threatened. Austin loves Ally probably more than Piper and Piper is either smart enough to realize that or truly naive and thinks by having Ally as a bridesmaid that nothing is going to happen between them. She appears nice, but it's all an act an act that I see through ie: her true colors with that tantrum and her acting like a f*** a***. "I'm letting you stay in my house for Christ sake." They're not friends. Ally and Piper are not friends. Austin. Austin was Ally's best friend and the fact that he's using her as a ploy to get her to tell him what happened and using Ally to get her to be Piper's bridesmaid it is beyond f*** repair. Piper's fake. She's obviously disingenuous. Not to mention...depriving Austin of pancakes? Tell Piper to get her a** on a f*** treadmill if she's that insecure with her body image. Carbs make people happy, that why brides on juicefasts are totally f*** psychotic. Oh, Piper having the wedding in NY is she trying to take away Ally's sanctuary as well. She's such a b***! She pulled this s*** all on purpose. I have no doubt about it. She's about as real as a unicorn. Ughhhhh Sorry for the rant Laur but I can't f*** stand Piper. She made the decision to get married in NY without Austin. Who the f*** does that? Selfish selfish b***! As for Gavin... he's not the 'father' because Ally would have no reason to tell Austin any of that. Gavin's taking care of Ally's baby either because he's her friend or her actually really likes and/or is in love with her. Ally probably told Gavin that she needed closure before she could let herself really be with him. With her heart open that is. I'm sure that since Ally's been in NY she hasn't been .So what happened was on the hill or the night of the party.. They were 'drunk' either she was or he was hell they probably both were and they had unprotected sex. Austin probably told Ally that he is in love with her and that he was going to breakup with Piper. But he doesn't remember anything the next morning at all. Ally keeps the secret to herself and around graduation or shortly after she can't take it anymore and flees to NY where she finds out she's pregnant. Ally deals with the turmoil of being pregnant with Austin's child and that after a long time convinces herself that the child was to Austin unbeknownst to him a 'mistake' but for Ally at least her baby isn't. Her child is a piece that she'll always have of her and Austin and their bond they once shared in caring about each other.**

**Also like I said if you could review before while logged in that has been resolved now. **


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't remember our last kiss."

"What?" Trish asked into the phone. Currently I was pacing up and down the room, trying to keep myself awake. We got back around and hour ago, and at 7AM, who else would be better to call than Trish.

"We went to a diner, me and Austin, and after a while it got quiet, like really quiet. Yet, it wasn't awkward. And when I looked up at him, he just looked so... So like his seventeen year old self. And it got me thinking."

"That you can't remember the last time you kissed him." Trish finished for me.

Maybe the reason why I can't hold down a relationship is my baggage. I have so much of it. I think back to all those times in high school, I tried to date boys, but when I was with them, all I could think about was _him_.

Then there was Gavin, and he was so sweet, but more like a replacement. And I still feel the need to apologize to him for that.

'Friends can kiss, right?' Austin whispered the first time his mouth caught mine. It was during a storm, I told my dad I would be back before things got worse, but the weather just escalated too fast. And so we were stuck. The royal 'we' meaning me and Austin.

I don't blame us, we were just two teenagers, by ourselves at night, stuck in some store. When things got intense and our conversations more deep, the kiss was bound to happen, like some perfect recipe cupid invented himself.

But the thing was, like a drug, we couldn't stop.

Now that I do definitely blame for the way things turned out. Because I was drawn in closer each time, and he seemed to be getting further away.

"Well it was before Piper, so you have to rewind back to junior year."

I struggled for a moment, biting my lip. "Y-Yeah." I mumbled. "Before Piper."

The thing was, when he met Piper he came to me, repeatedly saying 'sorry' for kissing me, that 'it was wrong' and 'it shouldn't have ever happened in the first place'. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what he was trying to say, and for some reason he felt guilty for it. The moment Piper walked into his life, I saw my little chance with him disappear.

But I have this feeling, this weird intense feeling that something else happened, and I know for a fact that at some other point when he dated Piper, I kissed him, and he kissed back, and _that_ was our very last kiss.

"Are you sure you're not getting confused with the lake—"

"Don't." I whispered, cutting her off as quick as I could. My heart instantly twanged at the word. "Trish, I told you, don't ever bring that up again. Please." I closed my eyes. _Don't_. I wanted to shout again. Trish knew about the lake incident, I'd had to tell her and it killed me to be saying the words out loud, but hearing them back, hearing her say those words to me out loud for the first time since I told her, it made it all the more real. "It never happened." I said to myself. That stupid night.

I shook my head, erasing the memory. _We've moved past this Ally._

"I'm sorry Ally, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." I told her. "I know, I just, please never speak those words again, it's dead to me now." I get out a distracting sigh, trying to move on from the bitterness in my voice.

I could imagine her biting her tongue, wanting to blurt out with something.

"Ally?" Chirped a voice that rang from behind me, "you're up?" I turned around, still holding the phone close to me. Piper was standing, in a midnight blue silk dressing gown, her hair was perfectly straight and her skin not blotchy or puffy. How I envied that.

"Morning," I smiled awkwardly, pointing to the phone. "Thanks for the rant Trish, gotta go." I hung up before she could shout at me. "Piper, hi." I flattened my hair down, annoyed that it had been in its mane-like state for the entire car ride, including the diner. "I didn't wake you, did I?" I asked, knowing the chances would be slim, according to Austin's analogy.

"No, every bride knows that to keep on top of a busy schedule, there is no time for sleep."

I nodded, walking over to my window to open the curtains, the bright sun unfazed me. I did however let out a gasp at the beach. I miss waking up to that.

My eyes were trained on some guy, jogging down the sand in his shorts._ I want to do_ _that_.

"Ally?" Piper said, walking up next to me. "Are you cool with that?"

Great, she asked me a question. "Of course." I laughed, faking the humour of the moment. Her slightly concerned smile gave me the impression that what she said probably wasn't that funny. "Cool with what exactly?" I asked, sheepishly.

"Dress fitting." She said slowly.

"Oh yeah, the dresses, of course." I waved my hand off, opening the window so I could smell the salty ocean.

"Great, just be ready for eight. Some of the other girls are coming over too." Piper sauntered out the room, leaving me in my own peace.

* * *

><p>"So girls," Piper clapped her hands together, a trade I'm slowly discovering she does a lot. "This is Ally. Ally, these are the rest of my bridesmaids. There's Claire, Suzann and Kara, who are all my childhood school friends. Carrie of course, who's ever so happened to fly back to LA." Piper stresses, unamused. "And my maid of honor, Mary, we've been best friends forever."<p>

A lot was going through my mind. Like, why does she need so many bridesmaids? Which brings me on to my next question, how will I be able to remember their names? And finally, "You haven't chosen Carrie to be your maid of honor?" I didn't particularly mean to say it out loud, but I was curious. "She's your sister." Mary, stood there, her face as sour as a lemon, Piper however didn't ever share that disgusted look on her face, she just shook her head and smiled softly.

"Of course I'd love to pick my sister, but her constant traveling makes her very unreliable. I need my head bridesmaid to be with me at the click of a button."

Mary had long, straight brown hair. Her face was tight and her pout even tighter. I got the feelings of disapproval from me. When she opened her mouth to speak for the first time, it was very official and classy. "Yes, Pipes, I was thinking, wouldn't it just be perfect if I stayed with you until the wedding? Then I could be with you all the time, take the stress off a little bit and make both our lives easier." Her body language was convincing, holding on to the side of Pipers arm and looking her in the eyes. "I'm sure Eddie wouldn't mind." She stopped and looked at me, her stare boring into me as she directed her next statement. "Eddie's my husband." She turned her nose up, making a point at looking at my bare, ring-less fingers.

"Oh, Mary." Piper seemed ever so slightly flustered. "That would be perfect. But—" Mary's smirk instantly fell, as she let go of Pipers arm, crossing her own.

"But?"

"Well I have Ally staying here with me."

"So?" Mary said, snapping her head towards my direction. "She's a small enough girl, there's plenty of room for us in this penthouse. It's huge."

Piper stepped back, the same smile on her face. "My other rooms are being occupied by wedding stuff. If Ally wasn't staying then your bags would already be here."

Ouch, bad choice of wording Piper.

I got it though, she was a nice person, as nice as they get. But she's not stupid, and so she knew back when we were in high school and she was dating Austin that I liked him, in fact we even talked about it once, although I did lie. The thing is, she had no idea to the full extent of how much I really loved him, but the fact that I was so close to him with feelings of what she thought was a crush, I was a threat almost. And those thoughts linger. I don't believe she still thinks I have feelings for him, and I don't. At least I don't think so, and the little I do still have, I'm working on getting over. Because I want to be his friend again, which means being her friend. And apparently her bridesmaid too.

Everyone had cleared out the living room, and I robotically followed after.

Piper had arranged taxis to pick us up and drive us to some bridal shop forty minutes away. I was in the car with two of the girls she had introduced to me before, and I sat in silence the entire way trying to remember who they were. From now on I'll refer to them as the blonde twins. Honestly, I'm just relived I wasn't stuck with Mary and Piper. But mostly Mary.

Speaking of the devil, as we drove up to a bright white shop with insanely expensive looking dresses on display in the window, Piper, Mary and the third bridesmaid I didn't know the name of, were standing talking to who I presume is the manager of the store.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure? I think this makes me look puffy." Blonde twin two said, twirling in the pink dress, blonde twin one looked in the mirror, wearing some black tight dress. Both looked horrific, and both were making me bored. Very bored.<p>

I was handed another glass of champagne and took it without any second thoughts. The inside of the shop was whites and creams and just screamed out money. I guess marrying an international singer rockstar pays off.. Literally.

"Your turn Ally." Piper walked over to me. Her heals a good five inches high. "Short blue? Or long red?" She had a worker hold up the two dresses.

"Well, I mean it's your day, what dress do you want us in?"

"Honey." Mary interrupted. "She's the bride of course she's picking, she's just being pleasant and asking your opinion."

I looked down, fiddling with my hands. "I'll try the red one." I walked towards the dressing room, the woman holding the dress following. Once inside I became incredibly uncomfortable. Having to strip down and some stranger help you get a dress on was not on my agenda.

"That woman has some mouth on her." She told me, fastening up the back. She had an English accent, not too deep, but very proper.

"Tell me about it. I just met her and I have no idea how I'm going to survive the next eight months. I have no idea how Austin's put up with her."

"Austin Moon, the groom right?"

"Yeah," I sighed. This whole thing is still insane. I'm being a bridesmaid, at Austin's wedding.

"Well he's in for one hell of a day if this wedding is anything like what they're planning."

I let out a giggle, slipping into my shoes. I was guided out the room, and into a smaller one with a mirror.

I stared for a moment, the girl in the mirror looking right back. My hands instantly touched the dress. It looked amazing. "I love it." I smiled.

"You look beautiful...?"

"Ally." I finished for her.

The woman stopped, kneeling down to spread out the bottom of the dress. "As in Ally Dawson?"

I nodded, wondering where she was going with this.

"You're that girl who set that whole boys career up." She was referring to Austin. I bit my lip, I didn't for a second think she'd know about that. "Like I said, this is going to be one hell of a wedding." She winked, pointing to the door back to where they were waiting for me.

As I walked away, I wanted to ask her more questions, this is the first time in a long time someone's said that. His fans knew about me, we were a team. But I've become much of a distant memory now. I didn't just vanish from Austin's life.

After taking a final breath I walked out from behind the curtain. It was weird, showing myself off to these strangers, hoping for their approval that meant nothing to me.

There was a few "You look great" and "I love the dress", but after they had settled down, Mary's voice became the clearest. "Great well we'll take the short blue one."

I looked down in confusion. "You don't like the red one?" I didn't want to sound desperate for her to like it, she just seemed so set.

"I mean it's one or the other. You can't steal the brides limelight on _her_ special day."

"I wasn't, I was just saying—"

"Yeah, Yeah, we got it." Mary interrupted again. "And now I'm saying that you're not wearing that. It's Pipers choice how she wants her bridesmaids to look."

"Funny, considering she hasn't even spoken yet." I picked up the bottom of the dress to avoid tripping and went back to get changed. I did not mean to snap, but that Mary has a strong dislike for me and I've never even met her before.

* * *

><p>I let out a long sigh, walking over to Piper and tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to sound angry. If you like the blue then that's your choice. This is the first time I've ever done something like this and I just have to get used to the new faces again."<p>

Piper smiled, making me feel even more guilty. "Don't worry about it. You'll look good no matter what."

Just as I felt relief surge though me, the cold presence of the she-devil popped up next to me. "Ally." The sincerity was almost painful. "I think we need a little chat."

Piper seemed unfazed, walking away so we could have our 'little chat'.

Mary was nearly six foot tall, which meant she towered over me by quite a bit. I checked my watch, we had ten minutes until the taxis would arrive to take us home. Which meant I had ten minutes more to brace Mary. She started talking, but I only tuned in nearer to the end. "I don't trust you." She snarled. "I know all about you Ally Dawson. Who do you think was the friend Piper called crying every night in high school because she thought her boyfriend loved another girl. Who was the friend who had to listen to her make plans on how she could keep him? You had it so easy. That Austin boy was at his knees if you even breathed in his direction. Piper had to jump through hoops to get him to even look at her. And you were there, just playing with their emotions at your own pleasure."

I backed up. Shocked by what she had just said. It took me a minute to focus. "What the fuck." I screeched. "It's ironic you can say that so confidently, especially with you never actually being there. Austin was my best friend, of course we got on well. And yes, I liked him. Hell, anyone could see that. But he didn't like me back, because like I said, we were _friends_. He met Piper and that was it, I never tried to steal him, are you insane? We were eighteen this isn't some soap opera. If they fought that isn't on me. You have your mind set on how things played out but you couldn't be more wrong, incase you haven't noticed they're getting _married_. I am twenty-two years old, and I'm trying to rekindle a friendship. I would never sabotage their relationship. I don't care if you hate me, because darling you are irrelevant to me."

With that I walked out the shop, storming down the path. The warm sun was at it's prime, hitting off my face. I could feel the anger eat me as I grabbed my phone out of my bag to text Dez. I needed him to pick me up. I can't deal with Piper and her clique.

After sending the message, I wandered over to a bench, thinking about how hectic things have been. I'm barely back and I haven't had time to breathe. my life had changed so drastically in the last 72 hours.

When my phone buzzed in my pocket, my heart raced as I saw Austin's name. I thought that Piper must have told him, and that's he's probably telling me to back off or something.

So you could imagine my surprise when I read this.

_To: Ally  
>From: Austin<em>

_I heard you today, on the phone._

_I've been trying to send you this for the past four hours. So now I'm at the 'fuck it' stage and so here you go. I remember. I remember our last kiss._

_You were wearing that god damn red sweater, and I couldn't get over how good you always looked in it. You had come over to help my mom with baking, and you promised to keep a bowl of the cake mixture for me. I was running late for the studio, but you grabbed my face, told me to breathe, and then I kissed you. And that was our last kiss._


	7. Chapter 7

"Austin?" My voice caught in my throat as he pulled up in his car. "Where's Dez? I called him to-"

"Come pick you up? Yeah, there was a change of plan." He stated as I held my phone tightly, his text still fresh in my mind. I tapped my foot on the sidewalk looking down. Is he doing this on purpose? "Well," He said in a questioning tone. "Are you going to get in or just stand there?"

I sighed, walking around to the passenger side.

He's made it weird, again. What am I supposed to say to him now?_ 'Oh hey, so I know we have this weird thing that you thought I left because I was in love with you, but now I'm back, "completely over you" and being a bridesmaid at your wedding, not to mention I'm staying with you. So the fact you overheard me talking about our last kiss and you remembering every detail of it doesn't at all make me feel awkward.'_

"Ally?"

I made a small humming noise in return.

"You've been staring into space since you got in. Is everything okay?"

I nodded my head, turning my head back to look out the window. I'll tell him about the Piper later, and apologize to her on repeat as soon as she gets home, that is as long as Mary isn't there.

"Are you actually going to speak or..?"

"Nope." I said simply, as calm as I could.

"No?"

"No." The corner on my mouth curved into a small smile, making sure Austin couldn't see it. He shrugged his shoulders, finding his own amusement in my stubbornness. Something gives me a feeling that he's waiting for me to bring it up, to give him some sort of a reaction.

Austin opened his mouth again to reply, a gasp of air only escaping before my phone started ringing.

When I looked down my stomach clenched. Not hear not again.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?"

I just shook my head, letting it ring out, filling up the silence in the air. Just when I though it had ended, he called again. "If you don't answer that I will." Austin warned.

I hesitated for a moment, my hand hovering above the screen. I could make it seem discrete, I don't even have to mention his name.

However, being greeted with screaming from the other end of the line did catch me off guard. I jerked the phone away from my face, almost positive Austin could hear it too, although he chose to stay quiet.

"Hello? Ally?" Gavin shouted. "Sophie be quiet." I could hear him sigh as he struggled. I felt awful, while I'm over here moping around like a fourteen year old, Gavin is back home, barely getting by.

"Hey," I said softly. "Why don't you hand me to her? I'll see if I can calm her down?" My eyes shifted quickly to Austin. He was try to concentrate too hard on the road, clearly not wanting to make his confusion obvious.

There was mumbling in the background until I heard a small gasp. She never spoke first when it came to talking to people, they always had to be the one to make the first move.

"Hey, baby girl, its me." I said into the phone quietly so that I wouldn't set her off again. She didn't answer, but I could still hear her hiccuping on the other end of the line. "Hey, why are you crying? What's the matter?"

"I had to bring her somewhere with me, and I don't think she likes not being home." Gavin said softly. I heard Sophie about to suck in another breath to cry again, but instead I let out a breath between my teeth, shushing her. The car lurched as we stopped at a red light. I didn't dare look at Austin.

"Soph, listen to my voice. Everything's going to be okay, right? Remember that lullaby I sang you before I said goodbye?" I said, hearing her sniffle. I looked out of the corner of my eye at Austin who was tapping his fingers nervously on the steering wheel whilst shaking his leg rapidly. I looked away, and focused on the sidewalk that was now speeding past as we had started moving again.

I hummed the beginning verse of her favorite lullaby, Hushabye Mountain because I knew it always calmed her down. I knew it worked when I heard her breathing steady.

"W-w-why, w-won't you come see me? D-do you n-not like me a-an-anymore?" Sophie stuttered, barely able to speak.

"No, Soph. I've just been really busy, a lot busier then I thought I would be." I said truthfully. I heard the car cut off, signaling that we were home. "I promised I'd see you before your birthday, remmeber?" I said. I exited the car and started walking up the stairs after Austin.

"I'm going to see you soon, I pro—" I stopped dead when I saw exactly who i was talking to on the phone right in front of me. "—mise. Gavin? What are you doing here?"

Sophie's eyes widened as the three-year old torpedo ran towards me, attaching onto my leg. "Mommy!" She yelled.

I froze.

Gavin froze.

And dear god Austin looked sick. My eyes locked on him, his face was pale as he stared straight back, and then down at Sophie. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't. My hand reached down and touched her soft light brown curls.

"Maybe we should go inside?" Gavin suggested, desperately trying to break the tension.

I nodded, picking Sophie up, almost robotically, my eyes still never leaving Austin's. I took the spare key out my back pocket and handed it to Gavin. Did I have the right to do that? Just invite them in without Austins permission? He hasn't said no, but he hasn't actually said anything at all. Breaking away from the intense stare off, I lead Gavin into the penthouse apartment.

It was silent, and awkward, very awkward. We all sat in the livngroom, not sure where to begin.

"Sorry." Gavin broke the silence first. "It wasn't meant to be a surprise. Not like this anyway. We visited your dad first."

"You spoke to my dad?" I said in disbelief, finding my own voice. Gavin just nodded, sorrow in my eyes. "Did he, uh, did he ask about me?" I chewed down on my bottom lip, afraid that tears would begin to form in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Ally.."

"It's okay." I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I think I expected that."

Sophie was playing in the corner, she found amusement in tracing her finger over a statue, something Piper imported from Europe. My throat felt coated. All three of my life altering situations were gathered in the one room.

"Maybe you could visit him? He's living nearer the city now." Gavin went on, although his voice was significantly quiet.

I shook my head rapidly, taking in quick breaths. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be rejected again. I rubbed my hands together furiously, until another larger pair covered them. I looked up and Austin's hazel eyes drew me in. I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry, and for him to hold me and whisper in my ear that everything was going to be okay.

Gavin stood up, picking up Sophie with him, despite the fact she struggled against him. He looked as tired as I felt, and I wanted to feel guilty for that, but I couldn't help but want to be selfish.

"We've booked into a hotel for a couple of night, it's not far from here. I'll call you in the morning Ally, I think you need time to process things."

I walked over to them, kissing Sophie on both her chubby cheeks. "You be good for your Daddy okay? If you get your pajamas on and go straight to sleep, I'll take you out for ice cream tomorrow." My focus then went to Gavin, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek as well. "Hang in there. You're doing great." I whispered.

I wanted more time to talk to them, I knew exactly why he was here. If I knew Sophie had been such a struggle for him I would have went straight back. If I knew he was coming out to surprise us I would have explained things to Austin. I was really hoping Austin didn't hate me. Again.

"I'll show you out." Austin tapped Gavin on the back, Sophie hid her face, she wasn't great with new people.

I sat back down on the couch, going over everything in my head. Gavin was here, he had Sophie, they saw my Dad. Oh god, my dad, I can't even think about him now. What would Austin think about all this? Like it wasn't damn complicated enough. I was on the verge of calling Dez again and asking if I can stay with him. But I couldn't do that, I knew I couldn't, I wasn't fair, this whole thing hadn't been fair on any of us.

I heard footsteps walk back towards the room, they stopped at the door. I closed my eyes, knowing that I had no other choice but to explain to him why I kept it a secret.

"Austin—"

"Save it." He snapped. "Just.. Just leave it Ally."

I stared at him, my mouth dropped open slightly. I jumped to my feet, and rushed after him into the kitchen. "At least let me explain. Surely I'm entitled to that?"

"Entitled?" He slammed a cold beer bottle from the fridge down onto the island. "What about me? Surely I was entitled to know you were coming back after three years. Surely I was entitled to know you that you have next to no relationship with your dad anymore. Surely I was entitled to know that my best friends life wasn't so damn easy because she's a mother now."

"I'm sorry." Is all I could muster.

"Sorry? Ally you're a fucking Mom. You had a kid and didn't at any point bother to tell me?" He was furious. More than I'd ever seen him. It beat the time he got into fights a school. It beat the time he caught me making out with a jock to piss him off. It beat any argument we had since I got here. But it didn't quite beat the time I left.

I shook my head. Fresh tears appeared as I desperately tried to hide them. "I'm not." It came out pathetic, so small he barely heard. "She's not mine!" I yelled. My shoulders sagged, my breathing heavy. "I may be her Mom, at least in her eyes it's the closest she'll ever get. But she's not mine Austin. Sophie's not my baby."

Austin looked tore. A mixture between frustration and hatred, towards himself this time. "You and Gavin..?" He spoke quieter.

"When I first moved yeah, we had a... Thing." I struggled to explain. "He was the only friend I knew when I moved out, he offered me a home, we were both vulnerable, he had a baby and I had a—" I stopped, having no idea what to say. A broken heart? A problem in which I couldn't even function properly? A lack of wanting to move on and live?

Within a matter of seconds Austin was standing in front of me, the beer bottle forgotten about.

"You know this whole thing has been really fucked up, on both our sides." I told him. There. Now he knew it wasn't all perfect. In my mind he was the one who had it better off. He managed to build a life, he still had friends. Family. And of course Piper.

"All I've ever wanted to do was help you, Ally." Austin put his hand on the side of my face. I gratefully leaned into it, feeling drained. "If I knew all this was happening, with your family, with you having to raise a baby, I would have been there for you."

"Kind of defeats the purpose of running away." I gave an empty laugh.

Austin did something I never expected him to do, he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. Engulfing, protecting me, making me feel safe for the first time in three years. He was here, with me, for me.

"Well you're back." He mumbled into my hair. "And it's been hard, but we're still working through this, we'll get there Ally, it just takes time."

"We always were the type to argue." It was in our nature. We used to argue over everything and anything. But we always made up, it was just part of our friendship and who we were, it was never personal. Not until near the end anyway.

"I'll wait until your ready." He told me.

I knew he was referring to the real reason I left. The truth was, I wasn't even ready to admit to myself. Because the moment I tell him what happened between us that night at the lake, it will ruin everything. The clock was ticking and I knew he had to know before he married Piper, but I just wanted a little more time with him, was that too much to ask?

~~~ (ू•-•ू⑅) ~~~~

My mouth was open, and I was screaming, but I couldn't hear anything.

Hands were bracing my shoulders but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

There was darkness. Everywhere. I couldn't escape it, it was sucking me in, it was taking over.

"Ally!" He screamed as loud as he could.

My eyes shot open. The lights were on, the bedsheets were a tangled mess, my hair was plastered to my face.

Austin was hovered above me, looking terrified, his hands firmly on my shoulders. Piper was at my side, brushing away the hair, whispering and cooing lightly in my ear.

I didn't move, I lay there, tense.

"What the hell?" Austin voice shook as he slowly let go. I sat up slowly, my head pounding.

"Ally we thought someone had broken into your room." Piper said, she was sitting on the floor in my nightgown. Austin sat on the edge of my bed, his eyes still big and full of concern.

"I had a nightmare?" I wasn't sure, I didn't remember what had happened in it. But it must have had a physical effect on me.

"No shit, you nearly gave us a heart attack. Even Piper woke up to your screaming."

I covered my face with my hands, feeling humiliated. "Oh god." I groaned.

"Don't worry about it." Piper rubbed my arm. I was glad she was being so kind. When she got home a apologized to her like mad. Of course she was a little irritated, probably more than she'd shown to be, but I made her a coffee and she quickly forgave. "You okay now?"

"Yeah." I lied. "You guys go back to bed now. I promise that will never happen again." Not that I had much control.

Piper left, but Austin stayed next to me, raising his eyebrows.

"You want to tell me what that was about?"

"The dream?" I asked as he nodded. "I have no idea, but I kind of want to dig a hole and burry myself in it." I threw my head back. "Was I violent?" Flashbacks to Austin holding me down appeared.

"You broke the lamp and nearly knocked me out."

I noticed a small bruise on his jaw, but it was difficult to tell in the lighting.

"I'm sorry." I cringed, dreading the thought of what they walked in on.

"Like Piper said. Don't worry about it. But it was pretty.."

"Messed up?" I finished for him.

He nodded. "Yeah, it must be the stress, because damn I thought someone was trying to murder you."

I tried to laugh to it, secretly worried that it will happen again.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked.

I nodded, as it slowly turned into me shaking my head "I'm scared." I admitted in defeat.

"Don't be." He smiled at me. Even in the dark it made my stomach flip. "Remember when this type of stuff happened to you when you were seventeen?"

"I remember." I whispered, looking down at my hands, fiddling with the bed sheets.

"And didn't I always answer your 4am calls? I'm here for you Ally, if I hear you, I'll come running through."

I grinned at him, feeling stupid that at twenty-three, I still had nightmares. "My hero." I patronized, placing my hand over my heart. I fought the urge to tell him that I didn't want to fall asleep on my own, but I knew Piper was just across the hall. So I bit my tongue as Austin kissed my forehead and stood up from the bed.

"I'm serious. I'll be on alert tonight for you."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I scream, you come."

A blush quickly spread across my face as soon as the words left my mouth. Austin cleared his throat and turned away from me. "Sleep." He croaked out like a teenager going through puberty. "It's been a long day." And with that he switched the light off and left the bedroom door open slightly.

Long day would be an understatement. But it couldn't get worse than this. Right?


End file.
